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anonymous
writes: Ill keep it short and sweet.Met a girl, fell in love. Girl falls pregnant, we decide it's best to have abortion. Girl no longer even speaks to me. I can't stop thinking about her. Am I being sad, or is it her?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2006): sometimes you have to let something good go ,,, belive me if it was meant to be she will be back....its just women need time to get their emaotional side in order so give her a little space and the fact that you still think of her , shows you really care for her....
think of it this way...the only way to get something is to give something...so in this case give her a little space...it will do you good as well
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (26 June 2005):
 You might have made this question *too* short and *too* sweet, because it leaves a lot of necessary information unsaid.
It would be worth your considering: How long were you together? How serious was your dating? How old are you both? Did she want to keep the baby... or did you? How long had you been together when this happened? How much time has passed since? Is she nearby and simply avoiding you, or distant? Did you discuss that matter at length afterwards? Did you continue to date for a while, or did you break up straightaway? Did she ever get therapy or counselling about it?
Speaking generally, getting pregnant and having to make the extremely difficult decision to terminate that pregnancy would have been a terrible strain to your ex, no matter whether you were long-timers of several years' together, or just freshly met. If she was into her 20s or 30s (and doesn't have other children), it might have really hit her hard, too, particularly if she wants to have children at some point. Your first response to the news that she was pregnant may have affected her decision and later response to you, especially if you were adamant about her doing one thing (keeping it) or the other (abortion).
Your ex may regret the decision, or she may not. But every time she sees you or speaks to you, she's going to be reminded of that anguish she endured in having to make that choice. It's plain that she's trying not to think of that time, by not seeing you. It could take her years to get over the pain she's been through... She might *not* get over it, so I wouldn't kid yourself that you two can still be friends. It may just be too hard for her.
I appreciate that you think of her often, under the circumstances, but my gut instinct is that, if she wanted to be friends she'd have contacted you already. Your best bet is to find a way to let he know where you are if she wants to talk (have a word to a mutual friend, or drop her a brief postal note), but generally to take a deep breath and try to move on.
Be strong, and feel free to repost your question with a bit more detail...
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