A
female
age
,
*ophfia
writes:My husband has never wanted to kiss me or caress me. I am not ugly, I take care of myself and exercise an wear makeup well. If I try to kiss him he scrunches his nose like I am a disease. I have to give him head but he never gives it to me. If I want to be close he gets mad. And now he never has sex with me at all. What is wrong? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): This obviously isnt healthy for a striving relationship. Well, what could have triggered his start of not showing affection? Is he stressed? Not in the mood maybe? What kind of feedback does he give you?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): My hubby was so spoiled and it was my fault because it was me that was kissing him and was all over him all the time, even after sex he was kind of acting stupid that it was my fault that he feels tired now! I felt so bad all the time and it was the first year of our marriage. I was shocked and in disbelief that why he acts like that. By the way he is 15 years older than me. Everybody who sees me with him just telling him how lucky he is to have me. Even some of his single friends have asked him that how we met. The fact is He begged me for 10 years until I accepted to marry him and now? Make the long story short I changed my attitude towards him; no more kiss no touching and showing no interest to sex. It didn’t happen suddenly and I tried to train myself to be cool and gradually maintain my distance from him by making myself busy by doing the things that I liked and started studding again and getting my masters degree and going to some art classes etc... The whole story changed after several months he keeps telling me that how he has missed those days! And I said that this is the way you wished for. The table turned and he is kissing my ass all the time. He explained about those stupid behaviors, he said I was afraid to show you my emotions because I thought you may leave me if I show how desperately I am in love with you. My suggestion is you do the same thing, at least try. He may change hopefully.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 At what point did he stop wanting to be affectionate? Was it sudden, or did it develop over time? And to you remember about when you first noticed that he was being less affectionate? How does he react when you talk to him about it? I don't know what is wrong, other than that some people get a low sex drive with the years, and simply aren't interested in it any longer. It is not fair to the other person who still seeks affection, and I hope you will be able to communicate this with him.If this continues, how do you see your marriage developing? How do you think you can deal with this in the best manner, and what would be the worst and the best outcome?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 I dont for one minute think that you are ugly. Has this something that has just developed or has he always lacked affection? You say you have to give him head and you dont get anything in return. So you are not getting anything sexual out of this relationship?
If you dont mind me asking if he never showed any affection to you well then why did the both of you end up getting married? This sounds like an awful marriage for you to be in and you deserve some love and affection. Could it be possible that he might actually be attracted to men and that he has married you as a cover up? This is something that you should seriously consider.
Talk to him and tell him how you feel you need to be open and honest with him, if things dont improve maybe the both of you should go to marriage counselling.
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