A
female
age
51-59,
*usymum
writes:I have been having an affair with a man for 9 months. He is never going to leave his girlfriend for me but I have accepted that. However, in the past few weeks he has become distant. When we do meet it is as good and as fun as always but we are not meeting as often and he doesnt call me everyday like he used to. He says he has been very busy and stressed at work but it has been very recent he is acting like this. I am looking for tips to get the spice back and make him want to call me (I don't want him to leave his girlfriend). I don't want to pressure him or make him feel obliged. Our relationship is based on fun and non-commitment but I do expect a bit of respect and time from him. Any ideas to get him wanting me more again?
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (5 September 2007):
You want respect? How about your give some respect to his gf! Seriously, how can you complain about not geting respect when you arent giving it to peopel? Im a big believer in the saying 'treat others how you want to be treated'. If you are going to disrespect his gf, then you cant expect him to be all respectful to you back. And seriously what more can you expect from a guy who is cheating on his gf???
And I have to wonder how do you justify any of this in your head. Please explain...
Are you honestly that low in self esteem that you would settle for this? Are you so scared of havign a real relationship?
Perhaps you shouldnt be asking about how to improve a affiar, but how to have the guts to stop an affair and build some self esteem and self respect.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): You deserve the worst, sorry, but i do feel feel for his gf. She is the one who deserves the best from this man, not you. Move on and get a bloke for yourself and not someone else's. For goodness sake get some self respect. He is just using you for the good times, er, don't you mean a bit of sex on the side. You cannot expect us aunts to help you with this one. get out of their lives and get one of your own.
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (4 September 2007):
 I'm with eyeswideopen. What you're asking for (from him) only his girlfriend has a right to. You get the leftovers. If you don't like this situation, you should leave him.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Nope, no help for you from this aunt. I don't give advice on how to cheat. What you are doing is such a hurtful thing. Now if his poor girlfriend writes us, she will have my undivided attention.
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