A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hiya everyone me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years we have a 1 yr old son together but lately my feelings have completed changed for him I notice all his bad habits and have now realised how boring the relationship is we never go out anywhere as he doesn't drink he does nothing in the house no tidying up does nothing for our son he's got some horrible habits which never used to bother me i had just got up this morning and was in the bathroom brushing my teeth he comes in and spits phlegm straight into the sink on front me what do I do I have now realised what a scruff he is Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 April 2017):
 We all get fed up from time to time in a relationship. It sounds like after three years you have both got in to a rut. When their is a little one involved as well things can seem a lot worse. It probably seems boring because you are at home with your son now. Okay so he doesn't drink but that does not mean you both cannot do other things. You don't need to drink to enjoy yourselves. Get a babysitter, go for a nice meal, or to the movies or go bowling. Something you will both enjoy. Have a laugh. Try and get the romance back. Then head back home and have a romantic night. Speak to him and tell him you both need to start making an effort and having a date night, where your son has a sleep over maybe at a family members.
If he does nothing in the house or for your son have you spoke to him about it? Have you told him it is not acceptable? Maybe he is taking it for granted that you do everything. Speak to him and set up a rota where you both help out. Also encourage him to bond with his son, he is only little once.
It is a little unfair to call him a scruff, you just need to talk to him about how you are feeling. We all have bad habits, even you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2017): What he did was really bad manners. You should have scolded him very very harshly and everytime he does such things you must tell him and show real anger. Critisize,critisize till he learns to know his boundaries.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2017): Has he always been this way or has he suddenly changed? If he doesn't really know that all of a sudden you feel this way... then it's a bit unfair to start getting annoyed with things that you've never been bothered by before.There's nothing wrong with not drinking, I think on the whole I would rather be with a non drinker than a man who drinks too much.If you want to start doing things as a couple you need to suggest things to do. If you've only suggested going out for a drink when you want to do something well he's not going to be interested if he doesn't drink.Have you always done the cleaning and tidying up? Have you ever told him that he needs to help. Spitting phlegm while you're cleaning your teeth isn't nice so tell him to stop.Bear in mind that a lot of people have bad habits and a lot of people are oblivious to it, he probably isn't doing it to annoy you and maybe you have bad habits too.Suggest things to do and ask if he could help with tidying up. It's hard work living with somebody, we all irritate other people from time to time.
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