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anonymous
writes: I’ve been going out with my girlfriend for two years now, and I do love her very much. However recently the passion in our relationship has noticeably dropped in the last few months. (Sex is almost negotiated sometimes!)I’ve found myself flirting more and more on night’s outs, and recently kissed another girl. It felt great, all the excitement and passion that had eluded me over the last few months came back. What do I do now? I still love my girl, but I’m only 23 and the thought of continuing in a dying relationship doesn’t appeal. At the same time I can’t imagine how I’d end it! She’d probably kill me for a start! Also her family has recently turned their back on her (long story) so she wanted to live with me over the summer! I can’t tell her now cus she’d have nowhere to go, and I do love her. I’d be grateful if anyone had any suggestions!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): You and your girlfriend just need to try new things, go away together, spend more time alone, going places. I know its an expensive relationship having a girlfriend, but you really must make her feel Very Special and her desire for you will increase and then the passion, love, sex, everything will all become great! Just think., what if she is feeling exactly the same way about this situation it would break you heart! and imagine some other boy with her!!! you have something good, just work at it and keep her in your heart! CHRIS
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2007): im a 24 year old from new york. My situation is extremely strange. We started out as best friends. went on like that for years then got married after falling in love. Sex was amazing and still is (when we have it). Also we have 3 kids and I take care of them wile she works.
Heres the problem. Im a super Dad type with the positive answer to every call.
Stress- got it covered
orgasm- always her first and always amazing
kids- no prob
cleaning- no prob
oral- no prob
money- managed stress free
Rub downs- head to toe always leading to other things
theres no problem I cant handle with a strong positive view to everything and friendly dedication to her.
But even tho I give her her space let her go out no problem if she wants and is there for her im getting the same excuses for not recieving. Earlier I read that she doesnt rise to his standards but he cant lower to hers.
Thats how I feel. I need the holywood recieve without asking passion. Im nocternal now. I sleep late from feeling lonely. I watch movies to keep me sane(yes sometimes adult) I write play games whatever to keep my mind off it. But its all back to the same. Shes always tired from work or the kids or money, all these things get in the way even before we switched roles (i was the one out taking care of things wile she did what I do now).But weather im the one bringing home the bacon or she is theres always an excuse as for me to be alone every night.
I stil feel alone. And its making me sad. I feel like were almost over. I wish I could get back my friend that couldnt sleep unless she had me. Someone help me. I feel like im the woman and shes the insensative man. Lol
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): hey, the fact that you still love your girlfriend says a lot. you can't always run from your problems in your relationship. thats why the divorce rate is so high today. no one takes the time anymore to put effort into their relationship. if you love your girlfriend and it's worth fighting for, it would be worth it if you guys could bring back that falme you once had. Talk to her about it, she could be faeeling the same way too. thats the problem now a days, POOR COMUNICATION. Every relationship is hard and they all have their down periods. My advice would be try to work through things first before turning the switch off.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2005): I am in a similar situation. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and lately, things just don't seem to be going very well in the way of love and passion. We seem to have a lot of hot and cold spells, though. I do love him dearly, though and would like things to work out.
If you love her, I would try to salvage things or at least find out how she is feeling.
Ultimately, you must make a decision as to what it is you feel you really want and need at this time in your life.
Be honest and respectful to her no matter what your decision and don't stay in the relationship for the wrong reasons.
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A reader, siobhan, writes (4 March 2005): i have the exact same problem as you. Well for starters i usually look at other people and think ' they are soo much hotter than what i have got ' which i think is terrible. I always feel bad and we hardly ever make love anymore either. We do love each other but i am afraid that my love for him is merely just as a friend. I always thought i would spend the rest of my life with him but i kissed someone else and now i want them. But truthfully i think you should encourage your girl to get back in contact with her family and then in time try suggesting a break. Good luck !
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2005): maybe her lack of passion is because of the hard time she is going through with her family...if i was going through a sad experience and felt my bf was coming to me for sex when i'm upset, i'd feel like he was being selfish and that he doesn't care about my problems.... try to help her feel better about what's going on with her family... when she sees that you're there to comfort and support her (and that she can trust you) she'll feel very close to you and may want to be intimate again. until then don't try to force it because she'll think you don't care about her.
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A reader, K, writes (2 March 2005): You need to work out whether the relationship is salvagable.From the sounds of things, kissing someone else has left you wanting more, instead feeling guilty. But cheating can be the symptom of an unhappy relationship, rather than the cause of a break up. Maybe you can get back the passion you once had?I suggest to talk to her about how you are feeling, so she really knows you love her, and would like to get the spark back. Ultimately you both need to be happy with the amount of sex you have. She needs to feel confident in the fact that you want to have sex WITH HER (because you love her and fancy her), and not just have sex full stop. Find out whether she is not enjoying it (this might be why she's gone off it), and offer to try something that she does like.The reasons you give for not breaking up with her do make the situation difficult, but these are not excuses for staying in a relationship. It will be better in the long run for you to sort things out asap.Basically: talk to her, see if she feels the same, and go from there. It could be possible to turn things around. At least then you would have tried, and have no regrets if you have to part if it doesn't work out.
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