A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My marriage is falling apart i have been married to my husband for 5 years and the last 18 months we seem to have grown apart there is no sexual contact if he kisses me to say goodnight or goodbye its like he doesn't want to kiss me on the lips i think we have had sex about 4 times over a 6 month period,i really love him but it is eating me up inside and if i mention anything to him he just says not this again,we both work full time and i know he gets tired but so do i,but that's no excuse not to come near me , he never says i look nice we don't go out,we sit on separate sofas all the time,and its got to the point were i don't want to be intimate with him,i don't hate him i love him so much if we go shopping or out he always looks at other women when he is with me and i just think he has gone off me i am 47 and he is 40 and i think he may have gone off me as im older than him and maybe he wants to be with someone younger,i just don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014): I agree with the comment below about men suddenly realising they could get a younger woman but really it's no differnt to when a couple both hit their 40s and the woman suddenly realises she is getting a whole lot if attention from younger guys. You don't see most married 40 plus women sneaking around for a quick fling with a hard bodies 28 year old do you. Men just need go grow up If he wants the younger woman, honestly if let him have it . You need to realise that we are not living in the 18th century anymore it even the 1970s. A woman is not used up and decaying after 40. With the popularity of mature and milf genres women of our age group are appealing to more and more men and believe me they are you get too predominately . Sure , they might not have the financial means our counterparts do but most of us don't need that by now anyway and they have other... Ummm assets. Stop feeling used up and old honey , stuff what he wants . If you are certain it's not 120 percent a gorgeous mature lady put on those stilettos and show him that for every one little money hungry bimbo he can get you will have five studs begging for five minutes with a hot older lady Seriously though, it's no competition... Just get on with your life, flaunt what you've got, celebrate your beauty. It doesn't fade . That's a lie . It deepens and becomes more sensual . Firms tits and youth is not what sex appeal is about ... True sensuality comes from within and that is something that takes years to develop, he's obviously just to dumb to know it care Cut him loose
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2014): Ugh. My guess is the age difference may be rearing its ugly head. This is why I never encourage long term relationships with the man significantly younger than the woman. Like it or not - life is all about options, and as a man enters his prime earning years (40s-50s), they generally become commensurately more attractive. Conversely, the opposite typically happens to women.
When a man is say 22 and a woman is say 30, its no big deal. But when a man is 42 and his wife is 50, it can be a big deal when he realizes there are many 30 year old women whod love to be with him.
Not saying its right or wrong....just is...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2014): That's not much sexual intimacy within a long period of time. That length of time would lead me to believe he could be cheating already. Are there other signs apart from him always looking at other women? I was with someone who craned his neck to get a better look at anyone attractive, I don't know if he was cheating, I ended it last year after getting tired of his disrespect and refusal to hold my hand in public, rubbernecking and abusive behaviours with alcohol, money and drugs (great catch eh?), but I digress.
Dig a little deeper into your husband's behaviour generally. If a lack of sex is really not normal in your relationship, a man this age is either masturbating instead/getting it somewhere else or has a problem getting an erection which can be physical/psychological. If he's not willing to talk about it, you have a brick wall in front of you and basically where there is no communication, there is no relationship in my mind. The fact he won't even kiss you is a really bad sign. Don't put up with this....
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 August 2014):
 We all have fantasy about younger women, but we almost never act on the fantasy because we know it's fantasy. The real world reminds us of our obligations whatever they may be. Why not try some porn together to spice things up? Could be he's just needing a recharge.
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