A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm an eighteen year old that was in the wrong place at the wrong time.\A few months back,I added a guy that I've known for like two years.I have always had a strong feeling inside of me for him and he knew.He also used to make me feel as if he feels the same way almost everyday.He once wrote me a letter expressing his feelings but I never got to read it.My friend told me it was him and that he really likes me but I never did anything about it.\Last year,he moved to Canada to pursue his studies.He gave me his telephone number and email address.I added him a few months ago and the first time we chat he told me he likes me alot.I told him I didn't know but I told him I feel the same,however,I was in a relationship that was a the brink of ending.I told him that.He was o.k,I think,but he was hurt.He was also in a very committed relationship before he left and he said they broke up because of religion but he lied.It was because she cheated on him,his friend told me.I told him later I knew why they broke up.Anyways,I broke up with the guy I was with.Eventually,I ended up in a relationship with you know who and everything was going great for the first two weeks.He even said he loves me and wants to settle down with me.We have been close friends before he left and we used t call eachother every once in a while but my parents a bit strict so couldn't have much contact.After the first couple of weeks,he started acting strange as if he didn't want to talk to me.I told him about it.He said it's because he's stressed out.I had patience with him.He kept on behaving the same but even more as if he didn't want me in his life so I tried to end it but he kept on saying that I'm the one fo him and he knows it.I continued the relaionship.Still,he continued the same way.I was going crazy.I have loved him fo so long but when I told my aunt what was going on she told me to dump him.I did a month agoHISreply was to invite him to my wedding.We became friends again and two weeks later he sent me an email apologising fothe way he behaved and that it was because he was in love with another girl who has been there for him since he moved to Canada.She somehow found an email I sent him expressing my love and she broke up with him and he wants me to sen her and email telling her that we're just friends.We're not anymore.Yesterday,I told him I' can send the email because I want him to be happy.He said to don't because he's afraid of I don't know what.Since he sent me that email I can only cry.I know I'm behaving like a child but it's the only thing I can do.I can't seem to get over him and he doesn't even care if I'm dead or alive.Why did he have to tell me he loves me in the first place?Whatis wrong with me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): Nothings wrong with you. He did love you. And your not behaving like a child.
Seriously.
In the mean time I think, like he is, the best thing to do is move on. And I know its really painful, but you don't want to waste your life waiting for something thats never going to happen. Clinging onto hope, but just recieving pain.
I think you should email his girlfriend and in however much description you want to include in it, just tell her your just friends. You have the right to be angry and upset, but yelling at her wouldn't do a lot of good.
After that it might be best, only if you can, to stay away from him a bit. Just avoid contact while you sort out your life a bit. Its easier and quicker to do it while your not in contact with him. Continuing to talk to him makes it painful for longer...
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