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Our lack of sex is making me want an open relationship!

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 August 2009)
A female United States age 51-59, *abulous writes:

Question 1: its been almost 20 months now and my boyfriend has followed a partern of only have sex with me every one to three months what does this mean and why

Question 2: if my boyfriend is not having sex with me should i ask to have an open relationship or should i just keep waiting? i dont want to ruin things more than what they already are

[Moderator's note: 2 questions from the same poster have been combined into one]

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A female reader, missjones United States +, writes (13 August 2009):

I think that instead of asking him all types of question try a different approch.

Remember he is still a man so asking for an open relationship is an insult.

Try different little freaky ideas like playing with fruit and whip cream setting the lights down before he comes in the room, meet him at the door with nothing on.... all kinda little things you can do save your relationship just get creative girl! we're women thats what we do...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (13 August 2009):

Honeypie agony aunt1. You need to sit him down and figure out WHY you two aren't having any more sex then you are. You need to let him know that you WANT more sex then you are getting.

2. Open relationships is a bad idea for most people. Basically you sorta have a partner but you screw around. It us not for everyone, specially if the relationship isn't that strong.

3. You aren't happy. What else besides the lack of sex is worng in your relationship?

4. Guys are not MINDREADERS so he might not know that you aren't happy. TALK to him.

5. The lack of libido for a guy in his 30's can be caused by so many things, depression, stress, medical conditions, porn addiction and so forth. You guys need to figure out why.

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A female reader, \m/J.D\m/ United Kingdom +, writes (13 August 2009):

\m/J.D\m/ agony auntfirstly open relationships are very very dangerous territory.. how would you feel about him sleeping with other women? im sure he wouldnt like knowing your sleeping with other guys. and with open relationships you need to bare in mind he does get to sleep with other women. just as you do men. secondly, he sounds like he has a low sex drive, why not suprise him, get a bit kinky with a maids outfit and suprise him when he gets home something that most men cant refuse! send him saucy texts and maybe take some sexy photos of yourself an put them in his wallet for him to find later! theres lots of different fun and exciting ways to boost your sex life. just have some fun with it. good luck. JD :)

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (13 August 2009):

It probably means he does not have a high sex drive.

What does he say when you have spoken to him about it?

As for an open relationship, it is unlikely he would be happy with him.

You say you don't want to "ruin things" but if he doesn't want you and you are not happy then you need to consider whether this man is right for you.

Good Luck!! xx

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