A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife has this male friend she was friends with for about 2 years before she met me. I'll call him BJ (for his initials). They were never bf/gf or I wouldn't let her still be friends with him (ex's are never a good thing when you're married). BJ and I are 'kind' of friends also, but I don't really understand him because he's Gay.Just this past weekend, he was over and the 3 of us were going to go in the hottub we have out on our deck. The 3 of us went to our master bedroom to get swim trunks (I was loaning him one of mine). My wife said she'd go into the bathroom and get ready. Before she left the room, BJ started stipping down and got into his swim trunks. I don't care that he got naked in front of me, I did the same thing, but my wife was still in the room.I think this was completely inappropriate, but my wife said it's not a big deal, she's seen him naked before, and besides he's Gay. I still think my wife seeing another man naked (Gay or not) is wrong (except for movies and stuff, I mean in person). Maybe if it was accidental, like she walked into the room, I wouldn't have a problem, but the fact that he just didn't think anything of being naked in front of her bothers me. Am I making too much of this? Just drop it? Or, tell him (in front of her) not to ever take his clothes off in front of her again or he can't be her friend anymore? Help please. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): Do you realize there are only two species of human's right? Male and Female..
Wether the friend is Gay or not is totally a non-issue.
The part I don't get is why did not you and your wife change in the bathroom and the unmarried male change by himself. ???
By rights using your "gayness logic" your wife should have been way more worried her friend was going to do something sexual with you while she was changing in the bathroom.
Was the "friend" acting inappropriately, Yes, and you are making a mountain out of a molehill. Next time,, how about you and your wife change together and other friends change in another room ??
I doubt your wife is going to go blind seeing a penis that is not yours. But, seriously why were YOU naked in front of a Gay guy,, shouldn't your wife be the upset one??
(sounds just as silly one way or the other doesn't it??)
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (19 January 2010):
I think let this particular event slide. But for next time, make sure that you don't take him into your bedroom and stuff. If he is bottom gay its not unusual for them to see themselves as one of the girls sometimes. Just leave it but next time be sure to let your wife change first or give him another room to use.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): Hmm. Just wondering if your wife would have been as liberal if you had a lesbian friend running around naked in front of you. Its not right of him to strip off naked in front of her or you for that matter, without prior permission. Common decency ect. I wouldnt embarrass him by saying anything but next time you are all changing, offer him somewhere private of his own so he can change, rather than taking him up to your bedroom with yourself and the wife. Generally if people know the rules of your home they will respect them.
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A
female
reader, meltedfire13 +, writes (19 January 2010):
i think thats inappropriate. i dont think i'd do that in front of anyone especially if they had a spouse who was right there(not that them not being in the room would make it any better). its probably not the same thing, but if i had a lesbian friend i'd still feel very uncomfortable if she was naked in front of my boyfriend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): My viewpoint varies on this from caring guy. It is unappropriate for this guy to drop his clothes in the presence of you and your wife. Gay or not it's private.Secondly, sometimes I think some gay people play up the gay thing and use it to get close to women. I know these gay guys that go to a local bar, and the famale bartenders will give them a kiss here and there, friendly (no tongue), but they get kisses because they are gay. Makes you wonder if they are a little bi, as why would they kiss so often, if not to prove to every other heterosexual male in the joint that is hot for these bartenders that they can get some, if only a kiss.Either way, being gay doesn't give you the right to drop your pants anytime you like. But also I wouldn't throw a fit about it either, simply tell him you thought it was inappropriate and you would appreciate next time that he wait until your wife has left the room.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 January 2010):
You're making too much of this. You can't and mustn't choose her friends for her, because she will resent you for it. And apart from that, there is no threat here at all.
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