A
female
age
41-50,
*okiogirl
writes:After a lot of thought I realized i am not over my ex bf and his friendship offer is just a road of deception. Perhaps he was thinking about a casual friendship but I am hurt all the time because his indifference, regardless he says he loves me and how good friends we are. I tried for a while but I have very good friends and I do not need these crumbs of what we used to have.So I sent him the following message:I like to spend time with you and I miss you in my life but I do not need any casual half-hearted friendship, specially with you. I do not want to fake a smile when you contact me every once in a while, and understand that you do not reply to my emails because you are too busy to drop a line, and pretend that it is cool that you never try to spend time with me, and accept that you will disappear or ignore me when something bothers you. I just do not know how to handle it without feeling hurt. I do not want to sound accusatory or try to change his feelings and /or behavior but if this is what he wants to offer me, it is not good for me.Now I am scared he could think I am a needy /clingy girl but I am fed up with crying waiting him to show he cares. What do you think ?
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (2 April 2011):
 It would have been best to just totally ignore him and move on. I am a great believer that ex lovers can never really be friends. If they are it usually only works after many years and when both parties have moved on.
He won't show he cares because he won't risk feeding you anything that might think you guys will get back together. Right now he is looking like the good guy, keeping you on the hook whilst still being free to date other people.
Don't be fooled, you are already feeling the bad effects of holding on...it's time to let go, ignore him and move on. It will be hard but in the long run you need to move on and get over him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): His behavior contradicts his words. I think his words are deceitful said only to let you down easy with the breakup. He's not living up to his wods. If he really meant them his behaevior would prove it. I strongly recommend you put him behind you and invest your time and energy in yourself, family and sincere friends. You deserve a man who is honest and not a deceitful whimp who's to lame to be truthful. He's not friend material.
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