A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really need some advice PLEASE! How do I tell my boyfriend that I'm pregnant..unplanned. This is 1st baby and I was thinking of doing it in a special way. Just because you know..Think back at how he found out. But I'm not sure how a guy takes these things. I would imagine shock at first..after that not sure!I know we have to talk. That's for sure! The thing is I was on birth control and they tell you to wait about a month or so before having unprotected sex. But really a week is fine. Well long story short.. we weren't that careful while waiting. All I think about now is how our lives will change.:)Thanks in advance.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 OK, seems to me like you have already decided you want to keep this baby, am I right?
You both knew what you were doing re the time you should have waited before having sex, you could have used something extra such as a condom but you didn't, that is the long and the short of it. You are both consenting adults and so this baby was made by both of you.
I don't think there is a right and a wrong way of telling your bf you are pregnant, however I do think you need to make absolutely sure, how many tests have you taken and how far along are you? Have you had it confirmed by your doctor?
Have you talked about how/when you would like children i.e. as a couple of at what age previously during conversations?
Tell him when you are alone and try and do it as gently as possible, be able to consider your options if he does freak as he may need some time out to absorb the fact that he is going to be a father, men are much younger mentally in my opinion so even though he is older than you he may feel that this is not the right time/age for him to have a child right now in his life.
I am not trying to paint a negative picture here for you but I think making sure of everything first of all and weighing up your options before you tell him need to be thought out by you. Even when I had planned my daughter with my ex it was still hard to take in and I was scared and shocked that it happened so fast so it is a life changing aspect of your life when you decide to have a child. Make sure you know that you have support around you as well. Have you got that support from family/friends?
Keep me posted OK.
Good luck and BFN.
Country Woman
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