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male
,
anonymous
writes: hey- I'm a 19 yr old guy in a relationship with a 20 yr old girl. we've been together for 9 months. Of the nine months 7 of them have been long distance since i go to college 3 hours away but we see each other atleast once a month and on breaks. At the beginning of the relationship like the first 6 months we NEVER fought. we actually thought it was weird and were worried since we never fought. but now it seems like the littliest stuff bugs us. I admit that i sometimes flip out to easily but i dont know how to control it. but also i feel like she is too sensitive sometimes and gets upset about things that i dont understand. but she says it doens't matter if i dont understand, that it only matters that it made her upset even if i think its the stupiest thing. Sometimes we get in fights even where i know that i am being such a jerk and feel so bad about treating her bad that i feel like she needs to just dump me and fine a better guy. but i dont want her to even do that. i want to be with her. i love her more than anyone but it hurts to me that i can't be a good boyfriend to her and i dont understand why. i think im just really immature. how can i fix this? i really want this to work out. I see this girl in my future. i want to marry her. theres just these 1 out of 10 times that we have these fights that are so bad that ruin us. HELP. any advice is great. thanks in advance.
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (23 August 2006):
 I am guessing that the distance is a huge part of this arguing. Frustrations can show themselves when you're together and it's a weird thing to control, especially because it's the not being together than cause trouble when you are together, sounds stupid, but it happens. Just give yourself a talking to and stop taking it out on her. Look forward to being with her and whn you're together, keepa check on your mood. If you feel it dipping or tuning nasty, take note but bite your tongue. Or just have 5 minutes time out to calm down. I have no idea why people do this torturous thing, it's almost like you are testing the strength of the relationship. As you say, sometimes you question whether you should be together so by fighting you are subconsciously pushing it to its limit.
A
male
reader, guvai +, writes (23 August 2006):
The best way to deal with a tender young young relationship is to know each other well.One thing i can advise you is control your outburst to the lady and give her time to express herself.You are both still young and you need time to really know more on relationships,weaknesses are always there in relationships and the best way to deal with them is sincere expression of who you really are.
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