A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I’m 26 years old and have been engaged for 6months to my partner of 4 years. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with this man who is truly the love of my life and want to start planning the wedding, but both of our families are against it.He is 16 years older than me and has 2 children from his first marriage which ended a few months before we met. When I first met his family they were really welcoming but after a year they started mentioning how "uncomfortable" our age gap makes them feel, and when we told them of our engagement they called me a gold digging teenager. My family were always against us and although I thought they would come round to it they never did, constantly bringing up his children and ex wife and how that "could be me".A big part of me just wants to get married without them but it breaks my heart knowing I don’t have their support. How can I get them to see that this is what is right for us?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, loving arms +, writes (27 February 2009):
you can't get them to see anything they refuse to open their eyes to. I was married to a guy 20 years older than me. He had two marriages behind him and a son a year younger than me. My family never liked it and never really welcomed my husband into the extended family. We are not together now but in total our relationship lasted from when i was 15 years old until i was 38. I always knew that if we ended people would blame the age gap regardless of what went wrong. Our relationship lasted much longer than many peoples and we are also friends now. Sometimes i'm still sorry we never had the sense to let our small problems be solved as there was never anything big wrong in our marriage. We have 3 wonderful children. What i am saying is, you guys have been together 4 years already, why not another 20? Your family may come round in time. Whatever girl just focus on you and your man, we have no control over other people. But we can control how we react to their negative behaviour.
Good luck and have a beautiful wedding day xxx
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