A
female
age
30-35,
*ager1234
writes: I have been in a relationship with a guy for about 8 months. In the beginning of our relationship i was a little unsure if i liked him but was encouraged by friends and family to give it a try. He put in lots of effort in the beginning. We didnt have sex for about 3 months into our relationship, he didnt try at all. He treated me really well and I began to like him. I thought i had a winner. After about 6 months, he moved in with me. We have been living together for about 2 months and things are slowly fading away. The house that i am living in is being remodeled, so things arent exactly "homey". There is no washer and dryer, weve had issues with water bugs in the basement where we are staying and also with animals trying to get in the house. It has been empty for several years, however its not as bad as it sounds, the interior is brand new. My point, The house drives him CRAZY. He is probably as close to OCD as you can get and everything stresses him out. He recently changed jobs and took a pay cut on top of the "stressful living situation". the passsed month he has hardly touched me, its been two weeks since weve had sex. We havent made out in over a week and he doesnt seem to want to even touch me. His excuse: hes not doing it purposely, hes stressed. IDK WHAT TO DO!! but im not happy...i feel attention deprived!
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female
reader, jager1234 +, writes (5 October 2012):
jager1234 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni realize that its only been a few weeks that this has been going on but its such a dramatic change to how he acted towards me in the beginning. thats why its bothering me so much. we never have any food in the house so ive been trying to bring home food for him when he gets off work and dinner. ive been keeping up on taking his laundry to the laundry matt so he always has clean clothes. im trying to relieve stress from him, is there anything else i should do? other than calm down and let what happens happen..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): I agree with the previous post. You moved too fast in your relationship. But you also have to understand that relationships aren't easy, especially if you takes steps like the ones the two of you took.
There is a lot of commotion around you right now, from the house remodeling to new jobs and pay cuts. It may be simpler for you to deal with, but to him the lack of order stresses him out. That takes center place in his mind.
It doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you.
Honey, two weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things. If you intend to be with him for a long time, you will have to know that there will be times when neither of you will want to get intimate. It happens, and those hurdles just have to be fought against when the time is right.
You can't expect him to always put you first, neither does he expect you to always put him first. There are other aspects to your lives, your respective lives that need attention as well.
I don't want to criticize you or put you down, but demanding his undivided attention like this, plus when he is so stressed will only add on to his turmoil and drive him away. No one wants a needy girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter. And certainly not after just two weeks. It's nothing.
Try and figure out for him what you can do to relieve some of the stress. By paying attention to him and helping him unwind, he will probably pay you back in kind.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (5 October 2012):
If you are looking for a long lasting and perfect relationship, it will require hard work and a lot of forgiveness. Focusing on things like sex or lack there of really won't solve anything.
It is a good idea to ask "what can I do for the relationship" rather than "what can the relationship/he do for me".
I think the problems in the house are very real and I think it can stress any man. But these problems can be rectified. Stress can be dealt with. Stress is not an excuse, it is a reality. Work together with your boyfriend to solve these issues. There are things to be fixed: help him to fix them, whether its money or finding the right person or information to help fix it. He is stressed: talk to him about it, suggest ways you both can do something together to release the stress like camping, out door activity, dinner, movie etc. Don't just suggest something but mention to him that you've noticed his stress and maybe a movie can help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): Hi there! To be honest if his not touching you or having sex with you in my opinion his starting to lose interest in you.Even if you try to read the Book "HIS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU" its actually one of the signs to tell if your guy is not into you.Actually, we don't even need to justify his actions, you can feel it and You Hate it.There is something wrong with him, he could have lost that loving feeling he used to have for you for some reason.But believe me it has nothing to do with the house.It has something to do within himself.You need to ask him and talk it over because there is nothing like hell than living with an enemy. its exhausting.Im sure its stressful for you and No one deserves to be stress. When you open up try to be calm as you can, don't nag, don't argue, just tell him you want to understand because its bugging and you want to make your relationship work.If he has other things on his mind, tell him he needs to be honest with you and no matter what you will appreciate honesty from him. Whatever it is, you need to be ready and decide from there what to do, if you need more advice write to us. we will be happy to help you..Most of all, Be classy, don't be crazy when u talk to him about it. You know what i mean. Good luck..
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