A
female
age
30-35,
*usann
writes:Im 19 and I've fallen in love with robert, a 36 year old. We've been getting to know eachother quite intensively last six months and last week we've had the most amazing sex, every aspect of 'us' is amazing and I can't stop thinking about him. I do have my doubts, and I don't want to think about all the obstacals we would have to overcome. But I just want (to be able) to be with him without people disagreeing on it. He really wants to go through with it seriously, and he has told his father and grandmother who don't think that it's really wrong if the feelings are real.I told my father about it a couple of days ago, it felt to wrong to keep it a secret and I still live at home (searching for my own place though). I so much regret telling it. My father is extremely disappointed, disgusted and worried. He has kind-of ignored me for 2 days now. And I just don't know what to do or say, I feel so bad about the situation I've created between me and my father. But it was so great before I told my father. And in the end it's my life.What I think I will do is this and I would like some feedback on that. I want to tell my father (this is partly true) that I have made the decision to stop seeing robert because I dont think such a difficult relationship is worth it to have my family hurt and worried about me. I think I'll have my own place to live in soon which will give me the freedom to see robert again and to see if it will really work. In the meantime I hope my father and I will get along again. This is so terrible but the other options are also ...Please let me know your opinion on this? And if you think it's wrong to have feelings for an older person? He makes me feel secure, in love etc. (Hope my english wasn't to bad, it's not my language)
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male
reader, bubba5417  +, writes (10 November 2009):
Sorry honey, he is too old. The only reason he "likes" you is because you are a young girl. When you get in your 20's he will be looking for another 19 year old. How do I know ? happened to my sister,,,
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): my parents have the same age difference that you and robert do i like older guys too my bf is only 8 years older than me but would consider older than that my parents dont mind i think your father loves you he just doesnt want you to get taken advantage of you just give your dad time and talk to him he might come around if he see's that robert is a great guy
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): Dont disrespect your own life by lying about it. You made a choice now stand for it. If your father chooses to not talk to you then thats his choice to make. However I have one question for you. I recentnly read about another woman who was dating a man 15 years her senior, close to the age cap between you and Robert. She wrote that for 5 years things were great. Until her friends started getting married and having children. Thats when she started to worry, and the age difference suddenly turned into a problem. So I will ask you: have you thought about the future with him? Do you ever wish to get married and have children? Right now in your life you are just about to look for a place to live, and marriage sounds far from whats on your mind. Like you wrote yourself, you dont want to think about the obstacles. But you need to.You have to be honest with him and yourself what you are looking for in a relationship. He might be at a very different point in his life than where you are. Think about how old he will be when your children turn 18 and move out. You'll be about 45 and he will be 60 and retiring, unless you popp out those children asap. You are not only choosing a boyfriend, but a lifestyle too.
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