A
female
age
41-50,
*ardia
writes:My boyfriend has told me twice in one year that he loves me. We have talked about possible future plans and he has said it really freaks him out to say how he feels about me. I think he's afraid that he may be on the path to marriage but is not totally sure he wants to go there. Should I continue to give him space about his fears. But then why should I feel as though I had to convince him to love me enough to spend the rest of his life and have a family with me? If our relationship was really meant to go somewhere wouldn't he be as excited as me about our relationship? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Is he bad at articulating his feelings at all, or just when it involves you?
No, you should never have to convince someone to love or committ to you. Even if someone can not say in words how they feel, they will show you in deeds.
How long have you been with him? You might be just pushing too hard or you might be with the wrong person?
In a nutshell, a person who really wants to be with you will make time for you, make effort to connect with you, show you affection, consideration, etc.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Clearly he is not as into your relationship as you are. Mayve he's not interested in permanent or LTR and is just enjoying his time with you...
if you want a permanent marraige type relationship and he's not willing to go there, then you have two choices
1. you can leave him because he can't be what you want him to be or need him to be
or
2. you can revise your needs and wants to meet what he is able and willing to provide you.
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A
female
reader, Doe Eyed Beauty +, writes (19 October 2011):
Dear 'You shouldn't have to convince someone to love you...',: Stop begging to get hin to commit. THis will come across as neediness to a man and will serve as vehicle to move him away from you. It can be hard a a women do but you have to if you want this guy. HE has to come to this conclusion on his own.Do you really think that someone you have to convince that you are a great catch is not going to need you to convince him to stay for the long run. This is a great book for you to read to undertand bett dynamics on the male female relationships. THis helps to save a number of women and will help you too! The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate--and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top . D.E.B.
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