A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 and I've recently started dating an older guy (27) after breaking up with my boyfriend, John*. Me and John had a great sexual relationship and I felt really comfortable with him. I was sexually abused when I was younger and he made me feel comfortable enough to relax and try anything with him. I became very confident after a few months and we had some real fun.However, since I've got with this new guy, I'm nervous again. I don't mind most doing most things but I'm too scared to give him a blowjob! There are two reasons for this: a) he's been with so many women that I'm scared I won't pleasure him as much as they did and b) he's got genital herpes so we have to use a condom to do anything and I've never given a blowjob with a condom on before and I'm scared I won't do it right!I know this probably sounds really stupid but it's getting me down. Is it the same with a condom? Does it feel as nice for them? I hate being nervous about things but that's just the way I am at first. Please help! :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2005): I am 22 years and have genital herpes. I got them when I was 18 because the guy I had a relationship with, had them but didnt know that he did. I stayed with him for 4 years, but now after breaking up I have had to tell my new partner about them. He may not have known that the other person had herpes, dont blame him for it and dont dump him because of them. Just be careful. For a woman to have herpes, it means you generally cant have a natural child birth and trust me the actual sores are very painful. He would love for you to go down on him whether with a condom or not. Talk to him. If you are worried about it, tell him, say you want him to talk you through it the first time so you can learn what feels good for him. Remember, if you catch herpes and break up- you will have it for the rest of your life. Please just be careful- and dont risk it.
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 August 2005):
 Really I would suggest that you request your boyfriend to get his herpes sorted out first before you do anything with him. Plus, he has been with a lot of women which is slightly off putting (I'm not saying you shouldn't be with him but if he has been promiscuous, it doesn't exactly stand you in good stead of a good relationship based on trust and loyalty).
You can give him oral sex with a condom but make sure (if he still has genital herpes) that your lips or tongue don't touch any of his skin.
Invest in some fun condoms (you know, chocolate flavoured ones, etc). Roll it onto him and do what you would normally do if you were giving oral sex without a condom. (it might even taste better, couldn't resist saying that!)
Hold the base of his penis which will also hold the condom down, put your mouth into the shape of an '0' and move your mouth up and down, using your tongue as you would normally. You can also rub him with your hand, keeping the condom on, as you continue.
He may not feel the sensations quite as much but the experience will still be pleasurable for him.
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A
reader, pops +, writes (26 August 2005):
why don't you just drop the guy with the herpes? Why are you complicating an already complicated situation? Find someone who isn't dragging STD's into your relationship. You don't need herpes, certainly not at your age. Why chance it?
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