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female
,
anonymous
writes: My husband left his mobile at home while at work and a text message came through. I opened it in case it was urgent and found that it was someone asking him to call back. On looking at his other messages I found four more from the same number, sent late at night, asking "are you still awake" "can you ring me" etc...I called the number out of curiosity and found that it was a woman who answered. I haven't asked my husband about who it is as he may be annoyed that I looked on his mobile. What do you think I should do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2005): ask him about the female, and find out exactly how and why she got has his number. I've been in this situation and have found several extremely flirty texts in my boyfriends phone, turns out it was just some chancer from his work trying it on - i called her and sorted it out - funnily enough he's still with me and the texts have stopped!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): Hmmmmm, sorry, pops, whoever you are, but from personal experience I know that men who want to cheat will cheat and find excuses to blame their wives.
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reader, dear caroline +, writes (27 August 2005):
well, i think you should get the number and call this woman and find out who the hell she is, because it will only play on your mind if you dont find out, you will just be left wondering! and confront your husband about this! what would he do if the shoe was on the other foot? confront you about it i bet? he is your husband for gods sake! investigate! what business does this woman have texting your husband? if he loves you, he will be honest with you. dont be treated like a doormat. good luck, be strong.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 August 2005):
 Um, that answer below? For health reasons, I hope you will ignore it!
Men don't stray because you aren't giving them oral sex! I wouldn't consider prostitutes to be a reliable source considering the men they go with aren't reliable either for telling the truth! Men may stray for a whole host of reasons and they aren't always unfaithful just because they are entirely governed by their nether regions! Contrary to popular belief, men can be emotional beings too!
Bite the bullet and tell your hubby what you have found in the way that you have described here. You need to know the truth, you need to know who this woman is.
Discuss with him if he feels there are any problems in your relationship that need some attention. Do you feel there are? Do you trust him? Was there a reason for you looking in the first place?
You can't really go much further until you know what is going on. You must ask him who she is and why she keeps texting him. It could be innocent but if it isn't and you wish to keep your marriage going (and if anything, make it better) talk to him about how he feels and what you can both do together to make it work.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2005): What "Pops" said below is mostly bunk except for the one sentence, you do need to "Ask him about the calls". Men DO stray even when they are satisfied at home that is if they are immoral and lascivious. If you don't like the answers your husband gives for the messages then let him know there is zero tolerance for this behavior and it must stop immediately. If it doesn't then walk. There so many great guys out there and you certainly deserve one.
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reader, pops +, writes (26 August 2005):
Ask him about the calls. Then sit down with him and talk about your marriage and your sex life. In detail. No judgments and no recriminations. Men don't stray unless they are unhappy at home. It may be sex, or something else. You tell us. Hookers I have represented tell me over and over that they would be out of business if women learned to give their husbands oral sex. According to them, and I consider them the experts on the subject, this is the number one reasons men " cheat " on their wives. If the shoe fits, you have some homework to do, and I am not talking about cleaning the floors.
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