A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex-girlfriend liked to go out with friends to the bar without me. She went to this one bar and become good friends with the male owner. She started texting this person a lot when not at the bar. Then she started staying over at the bar due to the fact it was actually an old hotel and had some rooms that they let people stay at when they were too drunk to drive. I found out that all the people she was going out with to that bar and including the owner and others were blocked from seeing any of my posts on her facebook wall and her relationship status. When we broke up she admitted she started having feelings for him but was not in love with him and that she still loved me but was really confused. I told her even though she didn't sleep with him it's still cheating but she said I didn't cheat on you. It's not like she knew him before me. She met him while in a relationship with me. She also started going to the bar when it was closed and to see him without her friends. She was also freaked out when I said let's go to a restaurant by that bar and then stop in there for a drink since she talked about that bar all the time. She said no because it's her bar for her and her friends. Can someone confirm that this is still considered cheating? Now that we are not together she is there more and more and has even helped him out bartending once or twice. Any thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): It is cheating. It's emotional cheating. She allowed herself to develop feelings for someone while with you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): I don't consider it to be cheating. But it isn't right.
If she is attracted to anyone else (as we all will be at some point) then she needs to completely cut that part of her life out. No going to that bar. Not with friends. Not with anyone.
Not texting to him, or about him. Delete him from Facebook. Delete him from the phone. Delete him from her life.
This is the only honourable way besides breaking up and letting you find someone who is able to devote herself to a monogomous relationship and knows how to keep things platonic.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, Kilcardy +, writes (23 January 2011):
It's good she's your ex-girlfriend. You were so getting hosed! Emotional affairs are just as bad as, if not worse than, physical affairs. She was cheating on you -- emotionally (I'm assuming she wasn't sleeping with the guy). Her heart was with Mr. Bar-Owner while she was supposedly in a relationship with you. That's cheating in most people's books.
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