A
female
age
30-35,
*azmarie
writes:About 3 months ago my bf dumped me because of my age.. I'm 16 he's 18 wow!! Well we broke up and that really fucked up my life honestly I really love him.. the months past and he still flirts with me and he's always there when I'm sad. After new year I lost my virginity to him.. he totally changed.. last week we talked and I told him tell me the truth, did you use me?? he said no.. then I asked him then what's gonna happend (because I don't know if I'm pregnant) I'm really confused he thinks I'm too young and he can't be with me.. but he still had sex with me.. this is depressing and it doesn't make any sense.. but in a way deep inside my heart I know that he's telling the truth and he didn't use me.. what do you think??
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broke up, flirt, lost my virginity Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (1 February 2009):
 Geez, he dumped you right after you had sex. He claims you are to young, but not to young to date or have sex with. If you were to young, why weren't you to young before you had sex?
But sure, he didn't use you, because your heart tells you. Men think with their balls, women with their hearts. The brain is just there for to stop human heads from collapsing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009): This is why children should wait until they are older to give their virginity away.....you don't have the emotional maturity to handle the feelings that come up once you have sex, now you are feeling used and hurt and for good reason...you did something you don't feel good about.
Always always be true to yourself and love yourself FIRST before some boy. You are responsible for how you are feeling, he isn't.....and it doesn't matter anyway what he did or why because it defies logic, it was an emotional, lustful act, not something that he logically did when he broke up with you....the age thing is just an excuse and he is probably feeling guilty about what you all did because you are both so young.
Just because you have had sex does not mean that you have to do this again until you are really ready. Ideally, it would be great to wait until you are out of college or are in a serious relationship with marriage on the horizon...sometimes this is harder said than done, but try to build strong relationship foundations based on friendship first, not sex, because if you have sex before you really know what your relationship is and if the guy is right for you, you become emotionally bonded, you have intense feelings that are often mistaken for the real thing-love. Love takes time and is a conscious decision that we make to be worthy of love and to take care of someone else's needs....first and foremost it is a commitment. That is a big word for an 18 year old and a 16 year old to pull off......what you are is just dating and you got a little carried away....shrug it off and go on with your day......this guy is not making you feel anything that you haven't allowed yourself to feel, you can choose to be depressed or you can choose to learn a lesson and go on to other more important aspects of your life....really it is your choice, not his.
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