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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm really really interested in this guy who is around my age. (turning 16 this year) We've been talking since New Years Eve and he's been soooo great! I've confessed that I liked him, and he did the same. It's come as far as not even eating because I just get excited even thinking or talking about him. I am actually going to meet him next week. (I've met him before! Not an unknown pedophile or anything) But what's bothering me is that, when I call him up, it's kind of hard to think of things to say or ask. However, when we talk online (which is how I confessed to him), conversations can go on for hours. Awkward silences occur for a few seconds, and I'm bad w/ awkward silences! So how I can make conversations go on? It's weird I know...but I want this relationship to go further..so any answers will do! Thank you! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (14 January 2006):
Its ok to have silences darl! Honestly, silences are always a bad thing. I know its hard to stay calm and not panic when for a few secs no one speaks, but just take a deep breath and tell yourself calming thoughts. Its ok! Its only natrual for ALL conversations to have silences. You both need time to think! I think you might just have to accept that a few secs silence here and there, is ok! Honestly, it doesn't mean anything bad. Its natrual.
But if you are having troubles with what to talk about offline, before going on a date, think of a list of topics to talk about before you go. Make note of the different things you talk of online. I know its easier to talk online and be more 'random', but you can be like that too offline, just takes a bit more effort, but its doable.
Try not to panic, it will get easier. And in time those 'awkward silences' will become comofrtable and you can just sit there for 5 mins without even talking but feel good.
Good luck and try not to stress darl, just relax! :)
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (14 January 2006):
 I pretty much agree with ed here. Find out what he likes or even better what you like in common and talk about that. Dont be afraid of silences either. Nobody can talk non-stop and even in the most flowing conversations there will be pauses for breath. From what you are saying they do not sound like lengthy awkward silences which is good. The other thing is that you seem to cover allot of ground when you are online and so this means you have already said allot that you would normally say on the phone. Try and hold back online or phone before you talk online and you may well find you have allot more to say. Hope that helps. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (14 January 2006):
 Hiding behind a computer screen where no particular person can get to you; if you don't let them; is the easiest form or communication. There's ton's of things to just talk about while your on the net. When your in person now that's where the fun begins. Study what he's wearing and break it down to an even scale. Give a compiment about anything he is wearing, even cologne. You should know his hobbies from all the net(ting) you two have done, so dwell on that for awhile. All guys love to talk about things that go fast or crazy. If he's into sports, know the score of last nights game and you score brownie points but even if you know his sport; play dumb and let him teach you. Ask about what his other friends are like and what they do together. Sometimes the silence for a little bit is cool too. It gives him time to think about his next comment/question or move. Good luck and just have fun.
Sincerely
Ed
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