A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been speaking with a man for five months now. I'm 18 and he lives in North Carolina. I have an aunt there and my mother has been saying she will move there during the next fall. He mentioned he was thinking of going back to college to study psychology because he didn't like his buisness degree, wanted a career change. I find that this all too coincidental because I had never told him that psychology is the career choice I'm taking. That I had already been looking for NC universities. I told him that and he hinted that he'd like the idea of being at the same university. I know I shouldn't be thinking about this right now but... I'm concerned. I would really like for a real relationship to be pursued. I don't worry about what society would think I just worry how my mother would feel. The man is her age, 40. I had a dream today where she hated me because of it and told her about it. Saying I had probably dremt it because there's a movie about a similar situation coming up that I had told her about. When I told her I felt really bad in my dream because she hated me for being with someone around forty she opened her eyes and shook her head. Then I told her that it be kind of weird right, to see her reaction and she told me that she thinks she'd probably die if a man who's older than her fell in love with me. I wanted to correct her saying he'd be only five months younger than her but decided to stay quiet, thankfully she had needed to go to the bathroom and the subject was forgotten. I really like this man.
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female
reader, BunnyAce +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Meeting someone online is always iffy. I've done it a couple times when I was your age to find that most of the guys were a bit off. There r many things that could be up with this 40 year old...ever married? Kids? Criminal background? Talked to him on the phone yet? And etc....Also you are still young yet and haven't experienced college and any other possible guys that you could click with up there. I think you should try and live out your twenties and enjoy them. I say this because I was also taking in the possibility that you may want children some day. With a 40 year old, he may want to start a family asap, r u up for that?But if you do feel like he is your solemate, I will give you hope, my friend's parents have a 20 year age difference and are perfectly happy with two heealthy children. Don't think that they met online...but alas times are changing. But I would suggest that you don't rush into anything. Keep communication with him for another 5 months and see where it goes. But you MUST be sure of him before you meet him along with informing a responcible adult (mom)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): I really think you should rethink this idea because you're very young. You're 16 or 17 and this guy is 40? Sorry but you're barely an adult and he's old enough to be your father.
Whether your mum will be happy about it isn't relevant, a relationship with this guy would not last. You two may have a few things in common but that will get real old real quick. I would have a good think about this guys real intentions. Also, he could be married, i've heard many people who've found things like that out.
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A
female
reader, muffy +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Okay hun,he's 40 and your 18.It's not mine or anyone else's place to tell you who you can and can't like,but that's just all bad.Since you haven't met him yet,you should end it now so nobody gets hurt.It might hurt you for a little while,but you'll be happier in the end.Think about your future.He's a bit to old.It's really good though that you don't care what other people think.That's something you should be proud of.I hope, whatever decision you decide to make,that your happy in the end.If you need anything just let me know.
Love and kisses,
Muffy33
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