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writes: Hi All, Just a small question really;About a month or so ago, i started talking to a girl i met online, and we've got on like a house on fire! She e-mails me, i email her, she txts me etc etc... we're arranging a meet up, and we've even started writing to eachother! she lives about 90miles from me, but she is the most genuine girl ive ever met, even if it is online. I think we may even have feeling growing for eachother. She says she's not happy where she is, and may move, and suggested she may be moving closer, which would be awesome!Just wondering if it's right to have feelings like this for someone i haven't met yet?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): I read your question and you are going through the exact same motions I did just this past January. I felt this guy was genuine, we both shared a lot of good and bad stories and even talked about habits and life sitations and how we would handle them. We seem to agree on just about everything. We also had web-cam. He lived out of state and came to visit me. Before I knew it, we talked about moving in together. A few months later we did. However, I found out things about him that caused strain on the relationship. So be careful, because I found he was one personality by phone, internet, texts, web cam, etc, but in person (over a 1 1/2) he was a completely different person. He has a low self esteem, foul breath (so bad that herbal pills can't even help), withdraws in social settings, watches t.v. from morning until night, and in general his personality was annoying. Unfortunately, he moved out of state and now he is in my state. In the case either one of you want to move, be absolutely sure you talk about how you will handle things if they don't work out. I could say that even though we talked about that situation, I still feel extremely awful that he dropped his life to come to my state. He is now in the process of moving out. I learned that there are plenty of people in my area to date, and I will not take this type of risk again with someone outside of my state. Good luck!
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reader, LP +, writes (24 June 2006):
LP is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi There, thanks fo all your replies! its good to hear about what other people have experienced on the net in terms of relationships.
she has told me quite a bit about her, including some of the bad things! we've both got webcams so we've seen eachother, so all is good that way (no hint of dodgy teeth!) i'm going to play it cool, i'm going to meet her at some point in the next 4 weeks, so will be able to tell you guys a lot more when i return! ive seen a few of her mates when they've been around her house, they all seem pretty fun people!
Once again, thank you very much, and any more points of view would be gold!
Thank you - LP
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reader, DrPsych  +, writes (24 June 2006):
 You say 'she is the most genuine girl Ive ever met'...you haven't met her, you have an internet-based relationship with a stranger. Sure the internet can put people together who may never have met otherwise, but it is a great medium for deception. There are lots of lonely people on the net looking for 'the one' and there are lots of scammers just lining up to take advantage of them! Your pants are on fire out of rampant lust for the possibility of 'what if..'. She can be your dream girl because she has probably only told you the good bits about herself (if they are true) and she can be your fantasy...she is whatever you want her to be and that is terribly exciting. I am not saying this cannot work but TAKE IT EASY until you really know her to be 'genuine' (which can take months...years). You have no way of knowing that she isn't an internet attention-seeking serial dater chatting to two dozen men at once, or a 6ft transexual called Derek who gets off on playing with your mind, or a woman with a burly husband and 6 kids stashed away somewhere. If you have feelings developing meet this girl in real life and soon - she maybe a big disappointment to you, or vice-versa. That is the only way to find out if a relationship is viable. Good Luck!
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reader, snowbird  +, writes (24 June 2006):
 Hi there,
Having been on a dating website myself, I would say go for it, but be even more careful regarding the possibility of her not being what she appears to be.
My sister had some experiences, the most memorable were
1) when she was as excited as you about a really nice guy; however when she met him she just felt no 'spark' whatsoever, and to top that, he had really bad teeth and the most foul dragon-breath! (lol)..
2) a really good looking Italian guy who she really got on with and was e-mailing for several months; he came to see her, they slept together, he said that she was the one for him, really loved her, wanted her to move to Italy to be with him...and when he left she never heard from him again, not even a text!
However, as your girl seems to want to move closer to you it may well be that she is serious, but all the same, tread carefully as sometimes people's motives are not what they appear to be. Meet a few of the people close to her; friends, family, etc..see how they all regard her - you can learn an awful lot more about a person and get a more 'rounded-up view' of their character, reputation, etc - so valuable when you have only had that one-dimensional relationship so far! Very best wishes, and good luck, I do hope it works out for you! (after all, I met my current b/f on the net, and we are considering moving in together at the end of this year..)
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reader, anonamous +, writes (24 June 2006):
tis natural mabye its just the girl your destined to be with though i would advise tread carfully it might be a trick ok but im happy for ya mate
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