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female
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*dauttaBunny
writes: I feel so depressed. I'm 16 and have just left school im confident I have done well in my exams as ive always put the energy of my problems into my work; I hide behind my education. Im going to my local sixth form by myself which doesn't bother me as I make new friends easily but im depressed because even though I am good at socialising and meeting new people I find it difficult to matain lasting and meaningful relationships. I last had a boyfriend three years ago on holiday who dumped me after only three days and nothing has happened between me and the boy I liked at school even though at one point we were like brother and sister. I have never even kissed a boy.I think this is mainly due to the fact that I get on better with people much older then myself so seek qualities in maturer men who want more meaningful relationships than most teenagers. The problem is I am still too young for maturer men to like me. I constantly wish I was older and completely idependant. I feel like im trapped in the body of a child!
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (25 June 2006):
 Lasting and meaningful relationships may seem far away now, but be patient. You are yearning for acceptance and companionship (i.e. you are lonely) and are letting the associated emotions control you. Although you might be good at socializing, it does not follow that you are comfortable in your own skin right now. And this is the main issue. You will not find comfort in anyone else, let alone older, more mature people.
I am very good at socializing too, and at 16 I thought there was little hope that I would ever have a lasting relationship. Three years later I was in university and found myself attracting people left, right, and centre. I believe the only changes that occurred between high school and university was a change of city and a concomitant change of my attitude. I probably was projecting a sense of comfort in my own skin while I was in high school but was too blind to realize it.
I saw university as an opportunity to start over again and said to myself, I am going to be a leader and project all the qualities that will convince people that I am worth getting to know. And the attitude change worked! I met people during my years in university that are still friends today, almost twenty years later. It just took some time for me to find these people.
Being patient now will pay you big dividends later on in life. If you take things slowly you will have time to find the people who are your kindred spirits - if you don't know what that means, I recommend you rent the movie "Anne of Green Gables". In almost forty years of living I have found but a handful of these kindred spirits, yet they are the foundation upon which my life is built.
You have some maturing to do before you can recognize kindred spirits. Until that day comes, work on your attitude and become so comfortable in your own skin that people will want to get to know you. Good luck and take care.
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female
reader, DdauttaBunny +, writes (25 June 2006):
DdauttaBunny is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the reassurance I guess thats all a person needs in a situation like this. Hopefully sixth form will be more bearable than school.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2006): This is one of those painfully shitty situations where all you can do is wait for everyone else to grow up. Take heart, however, in the fact that the majority of your peers are probably lying about their sexploits, or (more likely) there is really only a few kids who have gone very far and just brag enough that it seems like everyone but you is dating. Your standards are probably higher than most people's, which is a good thing in the long run.
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