A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi !I have been chatting with a Guy from February 2008 onwards, Initially he was trying to chat with me about sex... but I changed his views/ideas completely and I told him that I am only interested in a real good guy... who will be able to give me the real Love and should be true to me.. he has agreed for that and he never spoke deeply about sex... but started expressing his feelings on love... so, we used to chat like 2 good friends madly in love...He used to give good suggestions for my problems... but during the first week of this month... I asked him for his contact number (He is a foreigner) which he did not give it to me... he was very reluctant..He asked me for my contact number... which I promptly gave him... he informed me that he will call be...but he never called me once also...So again I asked for his contact number while chatting he informed me that his cell phone belongs to his office and he cannot give me his contact number..I asked him if he has any other personal number.. he denied having one... I am very worried why doesn't he give me his contact number.. and why he doesn't call me at all... He is good to me only online..what should I do... whether I should continue to chat with him... or stop it totally... please suggest..Right Now... I did not go online for sometime..But I always think of him... it is disturbing me quite a lot...Please keep my identity as confidential..Also please intimate me.. when you answer my mail please...Thanks and RegardsSheeba Reply to this Question
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female
reader, smiley67  +, writes (21 August 2010):
 Hi. I also have this issue, i met a guy online about months ago, dsting site, i decided to meet him, the thing is he lives about 80 miles away, so I met him, and I got scared, and I ran, yes i was scared of being hurt, it is a legitimate feeling, he immediately called me and didnt understand, i told him it wouldnt work. I ended up hearing back from him later on, and we decided to talk via messenger, and sometimes over the phone, he was completely interested and wanted something lasting.
Here is the big catch, he only has a work phone, and it is marked private, he told me he was to get a phone with a number i could contact him at, well that never happened, alot of things happened, and one of his relatives died in another state the day i was to go and see him, i was driving there when he called and said turn around, he promised he would call and asked me to stay by the phone, so i did, and he never called when he said he would, it would be hours, or days later. When he returned i was to go and see him and he drug that out,
I was to go and see him for the weekend, and he called me and said he would call agian later and let me know the details, he never called, for a week, he let me down again, all i got was a message saying that his daughter broke his phone, nothing else for a week, the next time i talked to him he told me he was depressed that he had news tha this 19 year old daughter was pregnant, and his mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, and that he loved me and wanted to see me...
since then, i have had twon converstaions with him, and everytime he promised me he would call at a cirtain time, he wouldnt call, maybe for hours and hours later, or not even till the next day, he does this to me all the time, and i dont feel important enough to him and that i always seem to fall short on his priority list, I have never been to his house, we have only met in hotel rooms, with the hopes that i will meet his family, but now that is all a thing of the past, i lost my job, and am struggling financially, and he is nowhere to be foound, i cannot contact him,. and i know he has been speaking to other girls, as I found him on the site we met on, and he changed up his profile, i went online today to see if I could find him, and he deleted his profile today as a matter of fact.
I know this was a complete mistake on my part to bielive that he really loved me, and that it would ever work between us, I have got to focus on my life and getting it back on track, and I will never go there again, this is why I ran from him in the first place, because I dont trust men, if it is too good to bielieve, it probably is, and you should run as well....
A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (21 June 2008):
 He has another woman.You're just his online fling on the side so he can cheat without it really seeming like cheating- After all, he's only proposing that you two get together and have sex, not actually going out and doing it.But if you ever suggest you two meet up, he's going to hop right on the bandwagon to have sex with you.Leave him alone, he's slime.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (21 June 2008):
 Hi sorry to say this but the guy is probably not genuine at all as any one who is genuine would give you his contact details and certainly from Feb to now you should know one another well enough.
Don't give him any more personal info i.e. address or full name or anything as he could be someone who is at a cyber cafe and who is building up to asking you for cash, what does he describe himself as? Is he someone who works for a charity and constantly travels abroad? If so, he has probably got several women he chats to and eventually he will build up to asking you to transfer an amount of cash via some cash transfer place as it is for a doctors payment or something as he has hurt himself badly and his credit card won't work in that country, be very very wary.
I once fell into the trap of thinking I was chatting to someone legitimate only to find out that once money was mentioned I withdrew straight away and this person's true colours were shown.
Not long ago there was a programme on the TV in the UK saying about these African men whose day to day job is to go to cyber cafe's and get talking to females who are vunerable or say they are in business etc and then they wait and ask for money, it is a total scam.
However, don't be put off completely just move on and start talking to someone else, if the photos are too good be wary as they normally take model photos and say that is them.
Get contact details and if they won't say who they are or give you a home number or even a mobile number and tell you all about themselves then back off.
I have also known people who have met the love of their lives online and have married and have children and are very happy so there is goodness to. One of them is my neighbour up the road so it is real as well. Just be careful and if you ever meet someone make sure it is in a public place and tell someone where you are going so that you have a trail of your whereabouts or get them to sit in a coffee shop and watch what happens so you are never alone. You could even get a friend to ring you a little while into your meeting to say are you OK or do you want to get away from this meeting so you have the perfect excuse.
Take care and here any time OK.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): Hi anonymous,
Sorry I didn't understand the end, and I hope you are able to recieve this mail. The man you spoke about only wants sex, he is unable to give out his number because he already has a woman who he lives with. He's kind online, because he still hopes that he can get some sex. He's not nice, he's not kind, he likes using people and he's a dishonest cheat. I suggest you have no further contact with him just to be safe.
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