A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, this is confusing me "slightly"!! Please take time to read this to understand!! Well i've liked this lad in my class for ages n ages now n he used to stare at me a lot and i mean a lot. There was lots of eye contact, some other signs and just the way people spoke about him and some stuff that went off suggested he liked me. Well one of my close mates started talking to him a while back, they aren't good mates or anything they don't speak an awful lot and they were talking about me and my mate was trying to find out by the end of it if this lad liked me but that part got skipped and the lad i like seems to asume what was gonna be said and said "thing is i dont have feeligns for her" and then when my mate told the lad i liked him he sed "well to be honest im choosing to stay single so wont go out with her but don't tell her that will ya m8y?" well that waas that and since then the lad still does stare at me a bit but not as much if you get me. Now there a mate of his thats in the 2nd yr and shes now left but when she ws there i always tought she might suspect she knew something because she alwasy used to look at me when talking to him and someone out the class sorta used head movements to nod his head from me to the lad i like as if to tell her something, then the lad i like turned looked at me laods(although i didn't look back) and then turned to her n although he never said anything it was as if they wre trying to tell her something. Then the next time we saw her she asked the lad i like something and he pointed to me(dunno what it was)Well since then she sed to me just randomly outta the blue "i always thought u fancied(name)" and so i admitted it and told ehr what was said between him and my mate. She came back into college last week and kept teasing me about him while he was there like asking if iw anted to sit where she was to be next to him and then when i got up to go she asked me again and said to him "aww she dont wanna sit with you now". They'd obviously been talking about me at dinner to because she found out that this other lad who everyone hates fancies me(which i knew about before xmas and told him were to go lol) and it would have been the lad i like that would have told ehr so she must have said something.Now since then we've(me and the lad) have been talking abit mroe often and stuff and yesterday the staring was back!! and i mean there was ALOT!!Well when we were together anyway because he goes off with the lads at dinner although we all used to stay togethers, we've also been speaking abit more thats one thing that used to get me,that we never really spoke! Now i always thought she knew something but never knew what and now she must have said something to him!! But why is the staring suddenly back? and what could ahve been said? I've always thought even after he denyed liking me to my mate that he did on sone level have feeling for me. We only have another two weeks together now until summer then not see him again till enxt year. A part of me is wondering what she could of said but if he did have feelings for me coiuld they be coming back? or maybe shes said something? He is pretty quiet in general and i dunno how i'll go about 10 weeks without seeing him but i keep wondering if shes said something to him to make him start thinking about it again espeially now theres a lot of staring again and he's started talking to me, but then again he has said he wants to stay single and we were on about films once and this film with a break up in and he said "see i thought when i watched that if you'd just have stayed single none of that would have happened" wich makes me think maybe he wants to stay single to avoid being hurt or something. But since she came to see us all that day shes been winding me up saying how she thinks he fit and stuff as a joek and tried to set me up with ehr mate and then i said nah tat wont work n she sed why? u want(name) ??? dnt ya? as if to try and prove or wind me up about wanting him. Shes also got a pic i made of me n this lad that says i love you but she aid she wont show him. What do you think could be going on? But another parts also scared that if we dont see each other for that long over summer(i have no contact with him) that if he does have feelings for me, these feelings might go away but mine for him wont!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MollyB +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Well for starters this girl who is a friend of his seems a little distrustful. I am sorry to say I think she probably will show the boy you like the picture you made. Can you get it back?! She probably likes him too, or is just kind of a stirrer!
As for you and this boy. He clearly thinks you're lovely to look at. Do you know if he has had a girlfriend before? All this 'better stay single' stuff seems like a front.. he probably has no idea how to ask you out or how to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
You have two options as I see it.
1. Ask him out on a date, the cinema, bowling with a group of friends, a dance. Ask him over the phone if youre afraid to do it in person.
2. Make the decision to have a great summer (sans the boy!) and do! Have fun! If he really likes you, he'll miss you.
I know you really really like this boy, but play a little hard to get if you can. I dont mean being hot and cold, but just be a happy fun person. Have fun with your friends, dont be bothered if he stares at you or talks about you...it'll only make him like you more if youre not always seeking his attention.
If you can be brave, (and i think you can!) find out before summer if he wants to go out, then at least you'll know one way or the other...
And... if he really is set on being single then remember, there really are plenty more fish in the sea... i know it doesnt seem like it. But, I'm betting one day, you'll meet a wonderful guy that is so hopelessly in love with you he'd never keep you guessing.
Have a great summer no matter what!
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