A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone I joined a website plenty of fish(dating website)anyway found a guy havent met yet, only spoken on the phone but he wants 2 meet Basically we do txt but when hes texts me he says things like my hunni bunnie lover of mine, and how he could be my future lover Then stuff like he cant see why im single and that i no longer am as we are together,He does sound a nice guy but i told him last nite that why rush things and he replys why not so im saying stuff like we havent even met yet (i think im right doing this)But he wants 2 meet up in the week but im at the moment not sure I feel like if we did meet he would be htat sort of person 2 rush into things Whats everyones opinons on this
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female
reader, Sandy P  +, writes (28 September 2010):
maybe met up with him in pub try to get him to bring friend and you bring one of your friends so they can judge him and ye will not be alone together unless you want it to happen .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): Use a webcam...Oh please, another notorious tacky, seedy implement for internet use, especially with strangers as it allows them to peer into your private space and life, where they CAN quickly move it to wanting to see you without clothes on - PLEASE DO NOT USE A WEBCAM whatever you do.
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A
female
reader, SweetindianGirl  +, writes (26 September 2010):
how long do you know him!?!!?!!! and why dont you webcam? alwayssssss do that stuff than meeting up right away!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): Hello,
I only USE the following information - when and IF I think the person MAY benefit or consider my experience as something they can use. I am a dating and relationship consultant professionally, I counsel couples and published a book last year ( NO I'm not trying to sell it) on DATING, on and off-line, so I have a vast amount of experience with ONLINE and OFF-Line dating communities, researched it for nearly two years.
Ok NOW to your situation - STEP BACK, fact, there are lots of men online who are just looking to have casual sex, there are an awful lot of guys who are online that you would NOT choose to chat with, let alone date. NO guy who is seriously looking for a potential partner, will come out with all this guy has to you. No guy would presume that by just texting, a couple of calls, emails through the online dating site that your were going to automatically become a couple.
FACT: Two out of every FIVE men online are already in a relationship or married.
Most male and females who meet online, who are serious about finding a long-term partner, will build up very slowly, NOT discuss sex via text, or even bring it up by email on the dating site itself, or if they email you off-line before meeting. Most people want to have some flirty emails - suggesting a hint of attraction, NOT a full-blown, ' I don't know how you can be single, and that you're NO longer single as were now an item' Alarm bells are ringing!
You have to remember as much as the internet allows us to open up lots of new opportunities, and it does, it also allows those who may NOT be what we would like to saturate online dating communities, because there is NO vetting or checking of anyone. Anyone can join these sites, people can BE, and SAY what they like to make themselves appealing, they can give false names, what they do for a living, where they live, and those who are NOT familiar with online dating have no experience of this, or what to look out for.
Guys who are OVERLY familiar, suggesting you are an item already without meeting, or that you could be lovers NOT having met, is ONE of them.
You have no idea if this guy is NICE - you know nothing of him in the REAL world, only what he has told you - UNTIL or IF you KNOW for a fact he is who he says he is, then reserve your judgement until then. Personally I would not want to meet him, speaking like that. But that is for YOU to decide.
If you do though - ensure you do NOT meet anywhere but in the public eye, in a place YOU know well, feel secure with, NOT one he has picked miles from anywhere. You tell someone where you're going, you don't allow him to pick you up or drop you off home. If you can, make sure you have more than just his mobile number - notorious for guys to only provide a mobile number, to disguise where they live, or if they live with someone.
Pay as you go phones these days are so cheap, guys can get more than one IF they are NOT the genuine kind.
If you do meet and he's NOT happy with you not letting him have your home address or land line number, another sign he may not be genuine. Please don't give out YOUR home number, because if he were a character that makes you feel uncomfortable, (go with your gut instincts)...then he would have a way of tracing you.
This may be just an over-zealous, rather emotionally immature young man displaying tendencies of neediness, only this is not behaviour of a single guy who wants KNOW the person FIRST, before making any rash promises of togetherness or becoming lovers.
So please be careful and sensible if you do want to meet him.
Take care,
Jilly
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A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (26 September 2010):
 iv been on this site for years lol. my experience has been that guys who want to meet this quickly are just looking for one thing...A HOOKUP!
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A
female
reader, Princess _008  +, writes (26 September 2010):
first of all, guy join in the dating site to date women. i said WOMEN not woman. yes they actually need past time or simply sex. you did a mistake by joining that site because there you will not get a life mate. my advice to you is to close your account there because trust me all the guy there takes all the girl who has an account there like a sex toy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): I'll give you reassurance that you are right, he seems to be rushing. If something doesnt feel right, chances are its not. Your first reaction usually is correct. Take it slow, communicate that to him clearly, and if he resists...tell him off. He also seems kinda desperate, which to me, is a no no sign and so be cautious. Good luck :)
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