A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so i was talking to a guy (my best friends childhood friend from another state) i had never seen him, he lived far away (7 hours) we talked for 5 months, we'd talk on the phone for HOURS at a time...but he'd call every other week to once a week, we'd talk online almost daily (for an hour sometimes 3 hours) He told me that i was interesting, that i was pretty, that he enjoyed talking to me, that he couldnt wait to see me. i knew he was interested but not ready for a gf. I reassured him i wasnt ready either (and i wasnt!) But i still wanted him around. i started 'ticking' him off, i think b/c i was being impatient (it had been 5 months) and he wasn't calling more (he was calling less) i told him once that "my friend thinks i shudnt speak to u b/c u dont put any effort," he said "thats up to u, but i still wanna talk"...he was taking it very chill, and was going to come all the way to my town in the winter to see me. Once i asked him a buncha clingy q's (another reason y he sorta was drifting) then another day I was so upset that he wasnt calling i asked him why he stopped calling and he had a legitimate excuse (i started work, summer was over, and our schedules were all outa wack, i said but we still have weekends--now as i reflect perhaps i was talking as a gf and not as a friend) Then i got so frustrated about 2 wks ago, that i texted him saying that i liked him and that it sucks wen the person u like stops calling (yes it was probably clingy but things were really leading up to this point, i was upset) He called a few days later and left a voicemail saying he was sorry, that he just wantd to be good friends and he'd "understand if i didnt wana talk to him anymore but that in the future i can text/call" I blocked him from everything after that.I really feel like i ruined it, u dont need to tell me twice, but what i regret the most was that he might have came this winter to see me and now he wont. Things could have worked b/c i know that he liked me. Is there anything i can do or say to make him wanna come this winter???? I dont care if we dont talk now, i just really want him to come this winter break, just so he sees me and i see him. Or can I perhaps go there "im here on a business trip/meeting, wanted to kno if u were around" (perhaps in a couple months) Or would that be desperate? I kinda wanna tell him that i miss him as just a friend and that i didnt mean to scare him off, that i was acting too much like a mean girlfriend and less like a friend, and that id rather hav u as a friend rather than nothing at all...regardless of me talking to him or not talking to him, im not gona get over this guy....hes the first guy i shared so much with, he knew me inside and i cant just let that go. I'll have guys come around, but ill always wonder 'wat could have been with someone i talked to till the sun came up' i dont have that kinda chemistry with people...ever! I wish i was less obsessive, yea i screwed up, is there anything i can do to make this better? please help!
View related questions:
best friend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (16 October 2009):
 You already have the answer...you should leave him a message saying exactly what you said you want to say! Try not to be so clingy, you guys werent dating so you shouldnt have started nagging him about when he didnt call! You should probably apologize! Good luck!
A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (16 October 2009):
You already have the answer...you should leave him a message saying exactly what you said you want to say!
...............................
|
