A
female
age
41-50,
*hacminh
writes:hi there, I need your advice on my situation. I am an international student in the US. During my thesis writing, I felt so stressful and boring, then I googled and joined a chat forum where I met a guy from Singapore. We started to talk and he seemed well educated and good listener. We chatted for about a week and felt so close to each other. I always tell myself that never and ever trust any person via chat-room. But he made me feel happy and close...However, he never sent me any pic, he just showed it up via his avatar. he said he never shared his photo until he met me...and he wants our relationship is not only to be very subtle but full of consenting minds. He said, whenever I am back my country, then we can meet there. He wants to be closer to me.Once, he asked for my number. He called me and we have a little talk. Then we chatted again...But since, he started to talk something very very 'sensitive'. He asked me to image that we were close, he hold my tight, and then kissed me blah blah blah...I didn't know what to do. I was dumbfounded in front of the screen...Then he asked if I could write him something back. I said I didn't know what to say and what to do. this was so weird to me. he said, it was okay. It is virtual and it is not harm....Finally...I found out that what he is doing is cybersex...I felt so bad and shocked...I talked to him what I just knew. He said he had the feelings for me. If I don't like to talk about it, he will stop. he wants to meet me in real...I know it is stupid to ask this question. I also know I should cut him off, but i still feel happy while talking with him (without mention about sexual stuffs). I would like to know if we can build a serious relationship or it is just his game. I need to know more from man side, what do you think about this situation. He has called me several times.Anybody has the same experience, please share me. Thank you so much.I wait for you message. Best wishes,MinhPS: My English is poor, I am sorry for that.
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female
reader, Danica Jane  +, writes (4 March 2011):
You haven't seen a picture of him or his cam? no you don't like him ur just bored, okay..Now go find a real bf you can have a date with..
Also, don't let him do those things again or treat u any way like that If you would want to fall in love with someone it is with someone who will respect you enough and not use you as an object to so he can jerk off while chatting online..if u go on that road..it will just always be a cyber and there is nothing fun abt cyber, only for the weirdos.
Online is nothing bad, if shared with mutual respect, if he is serious about you, he would talk abt his life and what's going on around him not when he's bored and looking for an outlet to get off.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): yes it's true that nowadays free online dating ratio is going up. people use commonly online dating in their lives. i have read something more interesting online dating website here: http://www.adultdatingclub.com.au/blogs/many-challenges-of-online-dating-relationship/
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A
female
reader, dejua123  +, writes (19 January 2010):
 I don't think you should trust him. Men are pigs (especially the freaky ones). He could be a sex offender or anything. He could be a rapist or a murderer. If you want to find love one place not to look is the internet. If you want to be rapped murdered etc.. then look on the internet. Thats just my opinion and it is true tons of people get killed or molested caused by internet. You should never give out personal information on the internet NEVER.
Love,
Dejua
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): Well, I wouldn't trust him. If you ever meet him, do so in a very public place. And preferably ask him for a photo with him holding a paper that states his username on it, in his handwriting.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 January 2010):
 Welcome to the western world.
He is singaporean, so he understands how asian girls think.
He is a guy, he has a strong sex drive and the only outlet is the internet.
If he sees you, he would try but would stop if you don't let him.
You can choose to keep your values or you could dare yourself to try something new and exciting.
But always ask him if he wants a long term relationship. He might say yes, but only to get you into bed. Only time could tell if he is serious about you.
Well, let's not focus all upon him. What do you want? Are you ready for a relationship? No one knows but we all want experience, and are curious for the unknown.
For me, having sex very soon does not make anyone indecent or irresponsible. It might or might not lead to something. There are happily married couples who had sex on the first date.
Even the "bad boy" needs love. Use your womanly instinct to see if he is serious.
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A
female
reader, Frenzotic  +, writes (19 January 2010):
 It is possible to build some sort of relationship but you need to spend ALOT more time knowing each other, talking to each other and meeting each other.
The fact he has moved onto the more intimate side so quickly means you should be wary though. He said he wants to be closer to you, how so? If his intentions are sexual then avoid him because this guy is only there for some brief thrills.
If you do decide to meet, make sure you stay in busy public areas. For now just spend alot of time talking, try videocalling so you both can talk/see each other and build a longer friendship before anything else.
Good luck.
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