A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 6 years, I am 24 he is 29. we have been living together for about 5 and a half years.Anyway, recently I have caught him out lying and being dishonesty to me in regards to his activities on dating websites.I basically had my suspensions but I did not have the full proof to leave or confront him, until recently the proof basically fell in to my lap.so instead of just going up to him and confronting him and telling him of my proof, I tried just asking him questions about some of the things he was doin on these dating sites and he blatantly lied to my face.I gave him the chance to be honest and he lied.I basically moved out of home and in to a place with this man, I have never been all alone, I am thinking of leaving because I am tired of all the mind games and the dishonesty.The problem is, I have everything with him, to furniture, to pets to bank accounts.How do you leave someone after so long and leave everything you made together?, I want this to be a fast process, I dont want to stay and be buddy buddy with him until I find my own place, I want to leave and never have anything to do with him again, I thnk this is the only way I can get over him because I am still in love with him he has just broken my heart.I do not have any family to turn to, I am not close with many people in my family and the ones I am close to do not have any physical room for me to stay with them.I do not have any savings at all, my work pay is low and he handles most the bank accounts and money.I do not have any friends at all, and I mean not one, any friends I have tried to make over the years he flirts with and they then feel too akward to continue visiting and being my friend.He is also always insulting me, just in the last 2 days he has basically called me fat and ugly, I am pretty sure he has cheated on me in the past also.I really dont know what to do with my life
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cheated on me, flirt, money, moved out Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (19 January 2010):
 Firstly, id suggest going to speak to one of those womens refuges just to get yourself by. Then set up a day to do this: Split yourself from the account so you have no financial connection. You should be able to do this at the bank by yourself only takes a few minutes. if theres any savings put in half for yourself in your account ... I would.
If you have no savings there id get financial support from centerlink, to help subsidise your income, the womens refuge should be able to help you with finding suitable accomodation. make sure you plan this with them so that one day you can get the furniture you own at your home.
This is a bit cruel, but you could do it relitavley quick if you plan it right take the things you need and simply leave a not of goodbye to him ... its horible but if he treates you that bad, it might make him realise what type of person he is.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 January 2010):
 The answer is not how fast you can leave him but what you can do each day to make progress. Make small goals to achieve each day and begin to imagine what the better future would hold. Decide which things are yours, which things are his, etc. You might have to move in with a roommate somewhere else. In the mean time, picture yourself being single again, sever the cords with him. Don't be tempted because he may try to suck you back in.
The worst is probably over now and you are the only one who can love yourself right now, and that's plenty.
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