A
female
age
30-35,
*eautifuldisaster7
writes:Ok so I went on a group date with another X It started off as just hanging out and catching up but it ended as a date. Anyways.. I thought we hit it off realllly good. He was complimenting me all night, we were talking all night, and he pointed out little things that I did that made him think I was "the perfect girl". He even opened up to me with some stories about his life. and I don't know if it was because he was drinking or what but he getting super friedly. We ended up making out but that's it. I didn't let it get any further. Well I left my keys in his friends car and I couldn't get into my house so he offered me to stay at his place. I still didn't let it get any further than a heavy makeout session. I was there for a few hours but I didn't end up staying there because I thought it was wrong for a first date thing so I had my friend pick me up. He wasn't mad or irritated that I didn't stay, he was very respectful and he kissed me goodnight but what I don't get is why hasn't he called me, text me, or asked to hang out again?? Its been a week since we hung out and I mean its not like its hard.. we live in my same neighborhood!! I just don't get it :(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): A date is when a guy calls you up in advance to ask you out to dinner or something similar. To put things in perspective, you went to a party and went home with X that night and had a heavy makeout session. That's hooking up with X after a night of drinking! Usually those don't turn out well and don't lead to dates.
I think X doesn't really consider it more than that and I'll bet he'd be surprised you considered that a date. He probably just considers it a typical night out. If he hasn't called or texted since, it means he had fun in the moment but it wasn't more than that.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 The steak house theory. I have heard it years ago from a young male friend , I found it rather illuminating.
He said : suppose I go to a steakhouse. I am served a yummy , juicy steak, the service is courteous, the price is affordable. Everything is fine, I have no complaints.
Am I running back the day after for more of the same ? heck no. It was just a steak, not a life altering experience. It felt good, but maybe tomorrow I'll be in the mood for pizza, or Chinese food, or skipping meals. If I happen to pass by the steakhouse again, and I am in the mood, I'll visit it again, but I am not making any special effort.
That , I guess, explains many " why has not he called yet , everything was good ". It was good...but not particularly relevant in the general scheme of things.
Not totally surprising, if you think about it. This guy had not come after you or asked you out on a date etc., you just started hanging out and it turned into a make out session. With the help of alcohol as a social lubricant , and that may have had something to do with his enthusiasm and friendliness.
I mean, it happened and he liked it. But that does not mean that from there he must necessarily want things to progress. Maybe he does maybe ( probably ? ) not.
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