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male
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anonymous
writes: My mind is in a mess. I have been with my great girlfriend for over a year but keep getting these strange moods. One week i'm into her and feel attracted to her, the next I'm doubting her or questioning my love for her. The thing i've noticed is that when I feel like this there is always an event ahead that im not looking forward to and then it will pass slightly.I have it in my head that I should always love and miss her but i don't. Some days I want a break from her but she wants to see me every day or every other day. I feel guilty about this. I'm a naturally guilty person and need to be more assertive, but I can't with my girlfriend. Any tips?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): Have you ever seen a psychologist? you may be bi-polar.
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (16 September 2007):
 First I think you mustn’t think that you SHOULD always love and miss her. If you don’t, well then you don’t. It seems to me though that you might not get enough space right now to be able to really think over what and how you feel for her and life in general. I understand about the natural guilty person kind of thing, but try and think of your feelings as well as of hers. There will always be times in a relationship when you will feel uncertain about what you are doing and if this really is the one girl for you. It is normal and healthy I think to have these doubts, they are there to help you see what is important and to appreciate what you have instead of taking things for granted. What you need to do now, I think, is to give yourself some good time on your own to look upon what you want to do in life and how you want life to be for you. It would be good to talk to her about it but if you don’t want to and don’t want to suggest a brake, then maybe you can arrange to go on a trip alone or with other friends. That way hopefully you will have the break you need to think things over.Wish you all the best!
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