A
male
age
30-35,
*bird14
writes:Hi,I have been having troubles with my relationship (if you can call it that). Lets call the person I dated Mark. Mark is 18, I am almost 17. Mark and I have known each other for about 3 years. We had become really good friends. About 4 months ago we started kinda flirting with each other. Since then we have hung out a lot, and did a lot of stuff together. About 4 weeks ago we fooled around. We did NOT have sex, but we did give each other oral. This was my first time doing anything sexual with anyone. It was a lot of fun, at least for me. He said he had a good time too. After that he slowly stopped talking to me as much. He says its because he was busy. It being his senior year of highschool and all, it made sense! But he couldn't even talk to me on the weekends. Yesturday, I decided to ask him if we were okay..he said "Yea, we are fine. Ive just been busy. But idk if we should do that again just cuz of how much older i am than you. And if we get caught i can get in a lot of trouble. It all worries me. We can still talk, but i dont think we should do anything."I really like him, and I do not know what to do...I am very confused. There was a potential for something good to be there...I don't understand why he broke it off, or if thats even considered breaking it off. Any advice?? All would be welcome! Thanks!BTW we are both bi. He is not out all the way. I have told all my friends. He has only told 3 people.Thanks again,Kyle
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (19 May 2012):
 in america the age limit is 18 so the guy posting the question isn't legal and the guy he likes is therefore the explanation does make sense.
my advice- if you really like him keep him as a friend and wait until you are 18 if it makes him scared. then if he's still not up for it you will know its not that. some places in america can be kind of draconian when it comes to the law and i understand his fear that a label of sexual offender could follow him around ruining his life/job prospects forever. its a reasonable fear to have.
give him time and work on being a friend with him
A
male
reader, Dataluke +, writes (18 May 2012):
 First off, the age thing has nothing to do with it, you are both mature people and are over the consensual age limit so there should be no difficulty there.If he hasn't fully come out then that might be why he has gone off being with you. It was an experience yes but if he is not yet comfortable with that side of his sexuality then he will want to bury it, and that means discontinuing what you guys had.He might want to stay with you in a relationship sense, but it maybe only to have the option to revisit that side of his sexuality when he feels ready, until then he could very well just keep you relationship quiet and just string you along.There is no guaranty that what I've said here is true but it would be my best guess as to his behavior.I hope this has helped,All the best, Dataluke
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