A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is for anyone who has been in a one-sided love affair. If you have pined over someone, idealized them to the point you question your own worth and felt continuously disappointed by the affection you have not received...this message is for you. When we meet someone it is only natural that we feel excitement and have hope that something will eventually transpire if we show that we are worthy enough. But while this act is admirable and generous, it is fairly rarely equal in its return, and there no reason to have such great hope in people that are undeserving. I realized the other day how much time I had put into organizing and designing myself to make the men I loved and admired happy and confident in me. My realization was that it was never fruitful in any case. I had taken jobs, moved to different locations, dressed up and down for what I felt was their ideal woman. I had waited patiently by the phone when they said they would call and checked my email incessantly in hope they would give a moment of time to consider me. When they came through, it made all the negative things they had done wash away. I was naive and lonely and I have no reason to be either of the two. So, since it is the start of a new year, let's start with a clean slate. It may be radical to suggest, but this year, let's put some love into ourselves, doing what we are truly inspired by, learning what we want to learn, living spontaneously and free and being in the moment. Let us not spend anymore time prioritizing people who only consider us to be options, we are all worth much more than that. I encourage each and every person who reads this to rediscover yourself if you feel you have been made a fool in love, and even those of you who are in love. Use this year to rediscover your individual self and we may be surprised by the results by the end of it.
View related questions:
affair Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (22 January 2010):
 Too true and I can relate to this. I have spent literally years changing myself and morphing into what I felt men wanted and then finding I was unhappy living this kind of lie. Now i look after myself, dress and act as me and put my needs first, That's not to say i won't be decent and consider others but not to the extent I used to. A large number of my relationships have been one sided always me loving them more than they wanted me. I have found it is far better for it to be the other way round or hopefully a more equal basis. I now do what I want to do and if the men fit in with what I am doing then that's great but I will not change my schedule or day for them and never again will I sit waiting for the e-mail to ping or the phone to ring.
A
male
reader, justinthyme1954 +, writes (11 January 2010):
 Anonymous female,
I can really resonate with what you are saying about one side loves. You speak from experience and you article is very well written. Where were you when I was experiencing a onesided love affair? I know if I would have read your article at that point in my life, it would have spared me ALOT of grief. Kudos to you! You truly have learned from your life experience and are moving on. Good for you!!
justinthyme1954
...............................
|
