A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey...erm if you read this your a saint! And if u even attempt to try and think about it and reply to me....well your offically the best!You see, im very confused about one of my friends...hes male, we went to college together but we have now left. Thing is i seem to feel we have a communication problem and its getting me down so much because he means the world to me hes like my best friend, we;re so alike! Its just we had problems at college, people used to say stuff about us and they didnt like us being friends(im not totally sure why this started or how it happened) but once we started our second year there we sat toegther permanantly and after afew months things imporved quite abit. We used to go to these gigs, no necesarrily together but we used to hang round together there and used to meet up occasionally with some others. It was the best days of my life!thing is after a while people started saying stuff and assumed everywhere i went outside of college he was with me. Weird thing was if we were alone at college in the morning we would talk most of the time, sometimes he was still awkward with me and wanting to go and find the others but other times we'd talk fine and he'd start telling me about stuff hes been doing and just talking in general. Sometimes hes fine and others its like he cant wait to get away from me.Well we left college hardly spoke hardly saw each other but when we did we spoke quite abit got on fine etc. Still i hardly spoke to him since. Thing is i dont understand and im so confused. For example tonight..he came up to the pub and he said hi to everyone then sorta looked sound at me and said hi once i looked up..i know there was other people there but we hardly spoke, and then when we were ore or less alone for all of 5mins we hardly spoke, if we do talk its about people we know or something. Then at the end he said im off shook out mates hand and looked at me said bye and waved(god knows y he waved like that lol) anyway i went down with him where he was with his dad i said im off and he said alreight bye and i said "giss a hug then" and so he did, not the longest ive ever had from him but it was one of the nicest. But at times its like he couldnt wait to go or something i dont know anymore. We met up the other week because i needed to talk to him about something. At first it was just like always, not knowing what to say but it was fine after that. Thing is hes not like really shy or anything he seems confident enough around other friends and just rambles onto them. He has to me occasionally i think its when the mood strikes him.Im not sure what to think. I could see why we were awkward at college, we werent great outside college either but we were much better apart from when it all got good again for that short period of time and then we were like best mates!Im so confused and its getting me down so much, hes one of the nicest guys ul ever meet so please dont say dont bother with him why would you wanna be friends with himLike one mintue we;re fine the next we arent and i dont understand because we know each other well enough why is there this weird tension, well not tension but im abit shy anyway and dont alwyas know what to say but he can talk for england when he wants. I know there was other people there tonight but tbh it shouldnt be like this. Also i dont understand why we hardly ever talk he says im a great friend him and everything so why do we hardly speak. Has he got some sort of problem or what because im starting to thin he secretly hates me but then again i know someone he hates and he gets on with them anyway just to be civil with them.Please help me what could be going on. Have you ever come across this before? In one way we;re fine but in another we arent and its the talking part that lets us down so much and i fear it will damage this friendship permanantly soon! Its not really about asking him what hes been doing and stuff its general converstation and making each other laugh etc.
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female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (15 October 2009):
 i dont think you know each other as well as you think. to have any sort of relationship their need to be good comunication. and that seems to be your problem. their has been a few occasions when that has happened to me. and most of the time its because their is something on their mind. the only way you are going to know what the problem is if you ask him and if you fancy him then go for it. you get a choice pick what you feel is the best course of action the world is your oyster take it in a firm grasp and make a discion. i say ask him why hes quite and how you feel about it dont be really intense about it just enquire. hope that helps aphex xx
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