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male
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anonymous
writes: This is a pretty complicated relationship problem that has been bugging me for the past 2 years or so. There is a bunch of background details, so bear with me. I'm 17, a guy, and I just can't get over my ex. She lives in a city next to mine, and about a year and a few months ago, we were supposedly "boyfriend and girlfriend". However, it was considered "a little long distance" because the drive was 15 minutes and we both didnt' have drivers license, and it was too tough to walk for it's up a big hill. Anyways, since back then during our relationship she didn't really call or suggest to do much, I broke up with her because it really wasn't going anywhere. We weren't doing anything, and I was in a way scared that she would get bored and do the same. She would online talk to me online and flirt/have good conversations wit me there, but that's it. I should mention that this person is pretty shy somewhat, and she admits to being shy. She is also very sheltered and has overprotective parents. After we broke up, she would still persistently talk to me online. It was as if we were friends, and although sometimes it pained me to think about her and talk to her, I let it go on. She probably had feelings still for me too... Year and a half later, which is now, I finally have my drivers license, so doing things wiht her would be extremely easy. Even after all that time, she would still flirt with me online, sometimes it is EXTREMELY obvious like she would say she's bored unless I do something with her (her example was playing an online game with her)... however, when I finally suggested to go see a movie, (i made it really obvious, and she said she wanted to see the movie as if asking me to ask her).... she asked the time, date, etc. But in the end, she didn't go with me. Why ? She said that if it was only with me, her parents wouldn't allow it. I just left it at that and told her if she could think of anything, then tell me. Really, I think the only way to spend quality time with her is to be alone and not bring my friends along, but if she wanted to bring hers, that's fine with me. After that, no more mention of the movie, its been 3 weeks, but shes still flirting with me and is showing that she has feelings for me sometimes. I am just so confused, she is pretty sheltered, and won't do things iwth me without telling her parents. Now I'm sure that most people around my age do things all the time without their parents knowing, she could jsut walk to the mall right near her house which would be a 20 minute walk or a 10 minute run... or she could have suggested that I pick her up or something. What is going on? Should I just try to forget about her and move on?It pains me everyday to think about her. When she's not online, I miss talking to her.. I always think when she's going to be online and that I have something interesting to say to her. When she's on though, I feel like our conversations really go nowhere anymore... she likes talking to me online and talks to me almost everytime she goes on but doesn't use the phone (i guess she's kinda nerdy or shy) .. i haven't been able to get over her and just think of her as a regular friend for a year and a half now.. and sometimes she is just hopeless! She is very bad at this whole guy/girl thing.Any advice would be good, I just thought I wanted to ask for some advice because this has been bugging me for a while and is still bothering me. Thanks. Sorry for the long story. I can post more details if anybody wants.
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broke up, flirt, long distance, move on, my ex, online game, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh yea and she also keeps saying, since we were bf/gf that her praents will allow her sometime during senior year, it is not the summer before that , and says after college applications her parents will give her more freedom (never mentioned that she will be allowed ot have a bf though), but still, I think that if she listens to her parents THAT much maybe she doesn't care about me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthink i should just try to forget about her? i think going there to try to convince parents is out of the question, she is not even allowed on the internet to play games or talk to strangers yet she talks to me and plays games behind their back
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (31 July 2006):
 She sounds like hard work to me.I presume she is your age so i cannot understand why her parents would still be wrapping her up in cotton wool when they allow her to go on the internet and speak to you and anybody else for that matter.Saying that if they are strict with her dating boys then maybe you could ask this girl of yours to pop up her house and introduce yourself to her parents...that way they wont think their daughter is seeing the big bad wolf,but i would only do this if she wants you to otherwise she is toying with your feelings and that isn't right.Often parents forget that they were young once and sheltering their children doesn't do them any favours because in the long run the child will rebel,but we are not talking about a small child here...she is 17 or near enough so therefore she should be experiencing the big wide world...relationships and so forth...it will probably take you to convince her parents like wise.
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