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female
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anonymous
writes: hi i have been with my boyfriend for three years now ,he loves me and i also do. Lately we have a problem which is fading my love for him but he still loves meThe problem is he saw his ex girlfriend and due to lust he slept with her, and now the girl claims she is pregnant for him and frankly spoken my boyfriend doesnt love her. This girl want to keep thi pegnancy just to have the boy back.Please advise me of what to do becos he said i should not let him down but rather stand by him in this situation. i still love him too.He also said he will accept it but still marry me after all the child is his. please i am confusewhat should i do . we really love each other
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2007): Do you think he really loves you if he slept with his ex? I would have left him then and there- how do you know he hasn't slept around with other people? This is not your problem - move on and find someone who really loves you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2006): more than likely he still has feeling for her you 're the one lying to yourself thinking he did it for lust , well for whatever reason , he got her pregnant !
He will care for that child
leave him
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reader, Rainee  +, writes (31 July 2006):
 He said you should not let him down and should stand by him? What a hypocrite! My dear, HE is the one that let YOU down by sleeping with his ex; not to mention getting her pregnant.
It is possible to continue with this man, but you must be advised of a few things:
1) If this child comes to be (is she really pregnant? she could be saying that to get him back) and if your guy accepts the responsibility, he will have continuing contact with her for the sake of the child. If he failed to keep his lust in check before with her, it could happen again. Some men even find a woman even sexier if she bears their child.
2) If he accepts financial responsibility then that means that if you marry him, you will have to face a depleted income with him until the child is grown. It is manageable, but it can cause resentment (especially like in my my case, where so much support is garnished from my husband for his kids with his ex-wife and their insurance, we have only 600$ a month to live on - less than they get from us).
3) If he DOESN'T accept financial responsibility, she could get the legal system to make him pay anyways. Therefore you're left with a guy with who doesn't take care of his obligations (which doesn't bode well with you if you have children with him) AND has less money as well.
4) Lastly, like they say, "once a cheater, always a cheater." If 'lust' was his reason for cheating, what's to stop him from going after someone else if lust strikes him again? Not himself, apparently.
Lots to think about, good luck!
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A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (31 July 2006):
 I think that it is not fair that he slept with her but this things happen, I belive him loving you and having slept around with his ex, it is not that weird I would say is not that important. If you thing you can cope with the baby issue without fighting about the fuck they had all the time then you should go on with the relationship. I think a baby is a good thing, you can even check if he is the kind of father you would like to have for your children, haterver you do will be all right, remind is not that dramatic and you can always drop him if you see he is messing around with his ex again, maybe she did it on purpose
Love
ASTRID
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (31 July 2006):
 Well I think you need to do what feels right for you and not accept his diktats on what you do and how you feel. Obviously there are ways and means on for him to support his child without being in a relationship with his ex.
If you feel you can trust him again, not immediatly but in time, and you do love him then you are going to have to work hard and address the problem which led to your fading love and any other problems there maybe in the relationship. It's hard for me to sit here and tell you to do this or do that because ultimately you know your own limits and own feelings and have to go with what makes you happy. The one I would say is that you do need to remember that this is the pirority not to fufill some duty that you may not like but feel is neccessary. Hope that helps, take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2006): Dump him and thank God you are not the one pregnant with that shallow person's baby. How could you contemplate marriage to someone you cannot trust? I feel so sorry for his ex and the predicament she has herself in, and the baby who will have such a man as a father. You still have a choice, and if you have any sense you will see that man does not love you or his ex, he hasn't even respect for himself. Are you so afraid of being single for a while? Are you caught up in a 'who can win the man' battle with his ex? You are not looking very clearly at a man who cheated on you and looks on his responsibilities so lightly. Good ol' Lusty Pants. And, my friend, this is him on his GOOD behaviour as you aren't married to him.
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