A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Seen this guy 4 times in two months... but it has been just sex, and I have always said I wanted more than that. (Met on internet dating site).Sometimes he does not contact me for days at a time, and a week ago I told him that was enough, and I wanted more than just sex, but he called me a couple of days later, and started being attentive in texts and calls. He has now gone away on business for 2 weeks (which I knew about ages ago) and has texted, or phoned me most days, and yesterday texted me, saying "Do you want us to live together". I can't make this guy out. Is he serious? (He has not contacted me since, and the time he sent the message, meant he'd probably been out at a business dinner and had been drinking). I am just recently divorced, and I have told him loads of times I want to get to know him to see if this relationship is going to go anywhere. I'm obviously not ready to move in with anyone for a long time and it seemed a bit desparate to me. Would appreciate all your views on this!
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female
reader, BigSis +, writes (26 July 2008):
 Good for you, so you don't need us to tell you not to rush into things, as you've more or less got it sussed now.
Good luck and hope it all works out for the best.
BigSis
xXx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Big Sis
He texted me 'You didn't really answer my question' so I rang him back (he's 9 hrs ahead), and he said where do you see this going. I said I want a Long Term relationship, and needed to get to know him, and wasn't ready to move in with anyone til I knew them really well, and thought they were the right person. He seemed happy with that.
I will endeavour to get to know him better, go to his house, etc, and establish in my own mind that he is single. He is a very busy business man so that could account for some of his slightly erratic behaviour... but I'm forever watchful and will know if things are not right!
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (25 July 2008):
I was going to ask you if he was married, but thought twice about it because surely he wouldn't offer for you two to live together if he already had a wife .... would he?
Another thing, do you think you're falling in love with him? ... because you're torturing yourself here, be blunt and just find out what his game is, try not to prolong this and further, you'll get hurt. So any hint of him two-timing you, then call it a day and move on.
It happened to me, I found out just this week, only he was 3 timing me, maybe 4, whose knows, maybe more! He was very convincing in making me believe I was the only one, and I almost fell for it yet again.
Be careful.
BigSis
xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBTW Cupidguy - I have been separated for 4 yrs, so haven't ben exactly rushing out of one bed into another.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is, I'm not sure if he's a player, and is possibly married... goes quiet at weekends and phone switched off.
I have two small children he hasn't even met, so wouldn't be ready to move in with him (or anyone) for a long time, and I've only just moved house.
He calls himself very romantic - I wonder if it could be his idea of being romantic??
Have sent him a text asking him to call me, no reply, and left voicemail. Perhaps I should send one in direct response to that text.
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A
female
reader, hollydawn +, writes (25 July 2008):
well i think that is sensabule in you saying that you dn't want to move in yet, as you have only just met. i personaly think that he is playing games with you, like giveing you the chase. and when he realises what he is about to lose he books his ideas up. maybe he could be convesed about how he feels but to me it sounds more like mind games
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (25 July 2008):
It sounds to me like you've got him all worried when you told him that was enough, and you wanted more than just sex. He's realised that he may be losing something special with you. So he decides to make more of a fuss.
Did you not reply to his request of you living together? He's just waiting to hear from you, that's why you've not heard from him yet. If you've not answered him, then just ask him if he's genuinely serious about you.
It's a massive step after all, and with you recently getting divorced, he should understand that it's not an easy step to make.
He needs to know that if you are going to make this commitment, he has to learn to be even more attentive and show more interest, then if he's that serious about you he'll be willing to wait until you're 100% sure about making that move.
My advice is, take things slowly, because you obviously need time to get over your divorce and plenty of time to get to know what he's really like. You'll find out soon enough if he's genuine or not.
Here's wishing you the best of luck, and take care.
BigSis
xXx
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