A
male
age
41-50,
*ade Ovation
writes:We met 3 years ago online. We chatted for a year before we began writing each other letters. We flirted a lot and shared many common interests. For a year and a half, we’ve agreed that we are going to try and meet up. She lives out West, I live out East. We agreed that when we meet we’d go out and have a lot of fun.In April she told me she's pregnant. It hit me pretty hard. I called in sick to work soon after because I couldn’t focus. We spoke about a week later, and admitted that we both had serious mutual feelings. We resolved that we are going to meet this summer, come hell or high water. After that we talked pretty constantly for a month..Just before the trip, she said she's moving in with the father. Again, hit pretty hard. We met, and had fun. We got physical when he was gone. Not 'intimate', but we, rubbed, spooned, gave each other goose bumps, and kissed. We both initiated contact. We knew we’d be in trouble if anyone saw us. We did all of this knowing that they are living together, that it's his baby. Yet she still let me touch her, she still kissed me and touched me. I don’t want to replace the dad (she said that things are very touch and go between them, and that they are together partially because she doesn’t want to do it alone), I stayed for a week. The day I left we spent 3 hours wrapped around each other. I told her I loved her when I left, and she kissed me. (Our goodbye was very rushed, last minute events came up and I didn’t say everything I wanted to)After meeting her, I can safely say that I do love her, and I want to be with her even though it isn’t my baby. I want to write her and tell her how I feel, but I don’t want to upset the father (who was for the most part pretty cool about me being there) How do I tell her that I love her, and want a future with her? Do her actions and body language mean she feels the same? Or am I too blind to realize that I should give her up, and move on with my life?
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male
reader, Cade Ovation +, writes (14 August 2008):
Cade Ovation is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, for the few who wanted to know...
it's been a rough month. Contact has been very limited. I've been extremely close to breaking off contact so we can both move on with our lives...but we were talking, and I offered to fly her out to see me if she wanted.
I wanted her to say no, so that I would know for sure and make resolution easier. But, she said instead that she is going to talk to 'him' and see if she can work it out. I think I may have just shot myself in the foot
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): I think u should go for it. if u can handle having another mans baby around, and u both speak to him and tell him what u told us that u don't want to replace him. best of luck. let us know how it goes x
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A
male
reader, Cade Ovation +, writes (24 July 2008):
Cade Ovation is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEDIT: When I say I don't want to replace the father, I mean I don't want to take his place and shut him out. I want my own role, with her, as a step-father.
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