A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a massive dilemma here on what to do. An close of mine has a new gf and they are always at each others throats. So he came to my door yesterday nearly in tears so I let him in and talked it through with him. Basically his gf spends all her time bitching about him and saying how she doesn't see anything in him and denting their relationship. Anyway we were talking about it and he said how grateful he was I was there and that he saw a lot more in me than just a friend and that shouldnt drny what his heart was saying then kissed me. I was really surprised cus I mean we did try dating together once but it didn't work out and I have had feelings for him ever since. So today I went to see him and he is hanging off his gas every word and they seem all loved up again. What on earth is going on ? One moment he is into me the next it's like I dont exist Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2012): he's got no spine. His gf puts him in tears so he comes running to you. next day she decides to be nice to him and his self respect goes out the window and he happily goes back to her.people who have no backbone are out of control. they will go which ever way the wind blows. They will say one thing today, do something completely contrary the next day. This makes them untrustworthy as you're finding out.Do not get involved with him. next time he comes running to you when his gf is mean to him again, just say, "if you're choosing to stay with someone who treats you badly then I have no sympathy for you."he also has low self esteem (goes along with not having a spine). she treats him badly and makes him feel horrible about himself, and that's why he's desperate for her approval and goes running to her when she's nice to him. subconsciously he thinks that if she - the one who makes him feel like crap - finally approves of him then he must not be so bad after all. He's not desperate for YOUR approval because you're not mean to him and don't put him in tears the way she does. But because she's mean to him, he's got his self worth wrapped up in how she thinks of him so when she decides to be nice to him again he's so happy about that, makes him feel great for the moment, and that's why he happily goes back to her. A more confident man would have told her heck no, you treat me like this and expect me to actually still like you the next day, are you out of your mind, get out and don't ever come back! But he's got low self esteem which is why he actually seeks out this toxic relationship and places it a higher priority over a healthier one (i.e. you). he obviously needs the healthier relationship with you as a lifeline, but that's because he's making her the priority. and that's why you should stay away from him romantically speaking. he's out of control of his emotions and thoughts.
A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (20 March 2012):
Don't try to make sense of it. He's just a bad dude. He broke the rules kissing you when he was involved with someone else. How does that fly in your "book of rules"?
...............................
|
