A
female
age
51-59,
*hippy2
writes:It has been one day since I broke if off with my boyfriend - I am kinda lost and dont know what to do - does anyone have any advice on how to keep moving and not be thinking about him? I knew I was going to be second guessing about the breakup - but he already bought a new lawnmower! Sigh - I know you all and my mom and daughter told me I deserve better - He withholds affection, does drugs, I can never get it right or do enough - Ok and even the last time we had sex last week he said 'Damn, do you have super glue in your vagina?' It was just that time of month that things are a bit sticky but I thought that was an awful thing to say - and it made me really self conscious - If anyone has read my previous posts you will know I struggle with my thoughts - But I miss him - Somehow - the snuggling in bed - although he also has gotten in the habit of only doing it from behind in the dark with his eyes closed ( I joked about it with him but really) It never used to be like that - makes me feel he doenst know he is with me -He told me not to worry last week he was anxious about money and that he loved me - Did I overreact?Would anyone else have walked out if he didnt acknowledge you when you walked in and was ignorant and wouldnt talk to you?Please help me - It will be a long night ( double xanax 4 sure) I guess I am really sorry for the things that will never happen - like getting married or growing old together - We talked all the time about things and shared so many interests - I just want to hibernate.Thanks
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drugs, money, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 May 2008):
 You need to replace your broken down compass and find the
directions you want to go.
What is it you want in life?
Focus on those things or focus on God.
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (11 May 2008):
 You are going through a very lonely period right now. It is completely normal to go through that mental list of good things that will never happen again or will never happen at all, especially if you had all these plans. When you enter into a relationship you let go and you make plans for your future. Right now you are living in a present that wasn't planned and you are just a bit lost right now. You didn't plan this and you do not have a roadmap so don't be too hard on yourself.
I agree that you have some inner strength that allowed you to escape and to find a new life on your own. It's ok to hibernate and "find your way." It's a great time to decide what you want to do with your life. While your busy plodding your next steps leave room for someone in your life because you never know when the opportunity to have a friend will come along. And by friends, it could be a platonic female pal or the real deal.
You are going through a healing process right now so don't break the process by going backwards just because you miss someone. Most likely you miss the person you were when you were with him and in time that person will be back.
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A
female
reader, BethW +, writes (11 May 2008):
Chippy2-
Since I am having trouble with my marriage I have thought back to all of my relationships. In college I did have one that was mentaly cruel and we broke up and got back together many times. I finally had enough and told him to stay away and it was the best thing I ever did! What you did breaking up showed strength and courage. I never thought too much about myself and what I needed. "You" are all you've got! Be proud of yourself. There is a man out there who will love you for who you are! Respect yourself! I am trying to do the same thing and it is hard, but stick with it. Take Care and hang in there!
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