A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Long story. But, my ex and I started out as a summer fling that turned out into a relationship, even though we both knew that we would be many hours apart (we are both in college). He isn't the best at communicating and I broke up with him, but after talking to him, we got back together the next day.After several months, his attempts to change were starting to falter, which I undertand is because of schoolwork and whatnot. Yet, I told him that being 'busy' wasn't an excuse to use. I was busy too!This was a problem I was willing to work on, but I always felt badly that he has to make such a trek to visit me. All of these reasons culminated into me breaking up with him, which he told me he understood. It really hurt me to break up with him. A month later, he visited me and my college (and met up with mutual friends) and to pick up his things. He was flirty, telling me that I look good and warming up my hands. Later that night one thing led to another and we had sex. I told him that it was a bad idea. When our friends weren't around, we spent all day in bed, mostly holding eachother and saying how much we would miss each other.I told him several days afterward to tell me that things were over because I seem to be having trouble getting over him. He did. It hurt so much I asked what he thought about getting together. He asked me if I was sure and to think about it. I talked to him the next day, but the topic was never brought up again. I didn't talk to him again until my birthday a few days later. He left me a message, IMed me, and even called me to wish me a happy birthday. The convo was short and awkward because I was just so sad that it was really over.Late that night I asked him to call me so we could talk if he was still awake. He did, but wanted to get off the phone saying he was "tired". I just sent him a message, in fear of being unable to tell him in person, that I thought about it and I want to get back together. It has been two days and he hasn't responded.Is he avoiding me because he doesn't know how to tell me he doesn't? I don't want to contact him again and bother him. I feel as though I've been acting desperate and I have my pride as well.Thoughts and advice????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): this is the original poster.
I just wanted to say, to help those who are in a similar position, that he rejected me; he did not take me back.
I'm glad he didn't. We wouldn't have worked out anyway. However, I'm glad that I took the chance.
I am heartbroken, of course. Our ending is bittersweet. I still care for him and hope he can stay in my life.
But I know it's not over and that it wasn't meant to be.
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (23 November 2007):
Don't despair so much,atleast the guy remembered your birthday.The guy's still confused and the sex you had compounded things.You should have sorted your relationship first before jumping into bed together.I think he's now asking himself if he loves you enough to get back with you and if it can work.Sex at such a stage spoils things.He needs some time to get things straight and if he truly loves you it won't take very long.However,don't think he doesn't think about you coz he's probably thinking about you right now.Make a final attempt before giving up.
All the best.
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