A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently met a girl and we seem to get along great (common interests, fun to be around, laugh alot) even though we've only been on one date so far. We've talked on the phone quite a bit and texted. We have wanted to get together again real soon but I've been sick with strep and pinkeye, so I feel bad about having to prolong our next date. We'll probably be getting together this week sometime. I had an idea in my head for some reason that I should buy her something, nothing expensive or anything, maybe just some gourmet chocolate or something. But I don't want her to think I'm being too forward or like I'm trying to get all serious right away. Reason I ask is because years ago I started dating a girl who I really liked and bought her flowers and it made her uncomfortable and she ended up dumping me the next day. Would it be better/more safe to wait on the gift idea??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): I love the idea! I think thats so sweet of you! That would make me moré attracted to you... But it depends on the girl! I think it's a nice move because it shows you care
A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (26 April 2011):
 something small within the context of "Hey I was out and about and thought you would appreciate this" is appropriate. Bonus points if the little thing you get matches an interest or preference she has informed you of. That shows you pay attention and the ladies ALWAYS are happy with that.
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A
male
reader, thomas1214  +, writes (25 April 2011):
okay Odds has a good point which is good for a certain type of woman but also there are other types that wouldnt be weirded out but a gift. if you were to get something small get ONE flower. and something that looks good but not a red rose.. red roses are not boring but are over used. and come up with some kind of a cheesey joke when you give it to her. like i was going to get a dozen but (insert witty reason here) so i could only get one. something along those lines. its not a big gift and it wont make her feel like your just shoving a gift at her. just be calm and cool and everything will go well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): Giving gifts is hard...I understand your hesitancy at doing it.
When in doubt, don't give a gift, give a favor. And always make it SPECIFIC to her.
Show your consideration for her not by buying a generic "romantic gift," but by doing a gesture or giving something that is personalized to HER. The problem with chocolates and flowers is that they can feel quite anonymous...
For instance, if she complained her computer was acting up or her bike is wonky, offer to give it a look (if you're skilled in computers or fixing bikes). Offer a favor that she is actually in need of.
Has she mentioned something that she liked specifically, like a movie or a show? Show your consideration by finding dates and times for that specific show and asking her out on a date again.
If all else fails, offer to cook her a meal including one of her favorite foods. In my experience, women eat this one up...I am a sucker for any man that offers to cook me dinner. If you can manage to learn one of her favorite foods or drinks and provide one of them, then it shows that you pay attention to the words coming out of her mouth. She will appreciate this. And if she is a tactful person, she'll agree to contribute to the meal as well.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): Hmmm...A difficult one, been there.I think something small is possibly the way to go here as you said.I think Chocolate is a better idea than flowers as it's something personal and she doesn't have to display it and be asked where they came from by family and friends etc.... The point being whilst she might be excited about you she might not want to wear her heart on her sleeve so early on and put up with the incoming questions and advice from her peers.Just a thought.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (25 April 2011):
 Don't get her anything yet. This early in the relationship, gifts only create more pressure for both people. It almost comes across more as a bribe than as a gift. This is also why I usually advocate going dutch on the dates until you're more sure about a person.Get her a gift after some special event, in commemoration. "Date number X" does not count as a special event, either. Gifts should be treated as an accessory to good feelings, not as a way to try to create them.Besides which, she wants to have to win your affections, not get it just for showing up. Take things slow and enjoy the process.
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