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female
,
anonymous
writes: My friend has a new boyfriend in her university so she leaves me alone. She always stays with him, does everything with him such as eating, shopping. Actually I want her be happy with her boyfriend but I think she didn't care about me. It makes me feel lonely. Please give me any help!!! -PRATCHAYA-
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male
reader, idigitaldestiny  +, writes (23 March 2011):
OK, Snuffaluffagus. This is how it is. Deep down you desire to be more than just her friend. If you didn't, you wouldn't be bothered by it. But she has a man now. Respect that boundary and find someone else.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): Hi
It hurts but your friend wont have a clue how much she is hurting you because shes "all loved up". Its a shame because once the novelty wears off she'll be back.
It doesnt matter if you are 15 years old or 60 years old the same thing happens when one friend sort of dumps her friend for a guy she's known for a short time.
My advice is try and find other interests and friends. The sad thing is that if her relationship breaks up you may not be so ready to drop your NEW social circle for her.
My moto is dont dump your friends as soon as a guy comes on the scene. Friends are there forever and boyfriends come and go. Anyway men have mates too and its more healthy for the relationship not to devote 24/7 to eachother.
Wish her luck and get out there and enjoy yourself --sometimes it difficult but once you take a couple of little steps to get out there and mingle with others you will have some great times (with or without your friend)
Good luck!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006): Act upset, see if she notices. If she askeds whats wrong then you know she cares. Whatever you do don't try to make friends with her boyfriend, she'll think you're trying to steal him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2005): Just let her know that you are happy for her and hope things continue gonig so great with her boyfriend. Also let her know that you miss her. Tell her that you miss hanging out with her, going shopping, ect...ask her if she is up for a girls night out and see what she says. Just remember one thing....friends are forever, guys come and go.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2005): As well as being friends with her why don't you make friends with other people as well. That way, when she wants to stay with him, at least you aren't lonely and have nothing to do.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (2 September 2005):
 Hi Pratchaya,
This is a really common problem, though it still hurts when it happens to you!
Your friend doesn't like you any less, but she's caught up in the first thrilling phase of being with her new boyfriend. If you've had a serious boyfriend, you'll know what she's feeling. All the important friendships she has had have suddenly faded into the background, because she's so smitten with her new boyfriend.
I'm sure that she doesn't mean to hurt your feelings. She's still your friend, but the way she's acting is normal for people who meet a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Your friendship with her will probably need some adjusting over time. Unfortunately, you may not get back the closeness that you once had with her, since she's now sharing her intimate feelings with her boyfriend.
If her friendship is important to you, I urge you to continue to make contact now and then. Maybe you and she could double-date, so that you can see her more often. Ask her if she'd save aside one night or one afternoon a week to spend with you. She may enjoy the chance to gather her thoughts with you, after spending all the rest of her time with her boyfriend.
Try to be patient. Most people have this happen to them, and it is painful to "lose" a friend's attention this way, but most strong friendships evolve to a new configuration and continue.
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