| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has mistakenly called me by his ex-fiance's name three times and I wonder if I should be concerned that he is not over her. He says that he has no feelings for her and that his calling me by her name was just a mistake because he was stressed. Should I be concerned?
View related questions:
his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emily F  +, writes (20 April 2009):
Don't even worry about it. I've done this a few times to my husband. He just laughs. As long as you know he's not seeing his ex. this is natural and everyone does it. it doesnt mean anything
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): should I be concerned that its not even his ex's name he's called me... but my roomate's? They never dated but were interested in eachother before we started dating, but we've been together over 2 years now!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): i think your ok. He obviously is with you and it happens to everyone.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): I'm on the other side of this myself...I find myself often mistakenly refering to my current gf by my ex in my head. Such as, thinking, "oh look it's 7 o'clock got to call [wrong girlfriend name]...shoot, i mean, [correct gf name]."
It is really driving me nuts because I am hopelessly in love with my current girl and the ex name that keeps jumping in my head is someione i haven't seen for years and am not fond of at all. The only correlation i can think of is that the old ex was my last serious relationship and this current relationship is the only one other one I've had to get this serious, so my brain is used to associating these strong feelings with the old name.
The other day we were having a harmless tiff and the first syllable of the wrong name came out. She felt horrible, I felt worse. I'm trying to train myself and my uncooperative brain but it is slow progress and very frustrating. So far that was the only instance of me actually saying anything; up till then I have caught myself before it came out (but my initial instinct was to say the old name). These brain farts happen maybe a few times a week, and I'm very scared I will screw up again.
Anyway, at least for me these instances mean nothing about me not being over the old gf or how I feel about the new gf; it is just a mistake that will (i desperately hope) fade in time. So just give it some time, unless there are other signs that he is not devoted to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2006): it is probably just a habbit if he was with her a lot then he would have used her name a lot in conversation and as he was engaged 2 her they obvously would have spent a lot of time together. It is just a mistake and he will get over it eventually. Haven't you ever called someone by the wrong name before after spending a lot of time with sumone with that name. I know its not quite the same but when i moved from primary school to high school many many years ago lol i used to accidently call my best friend by my old best friends name for about a year. It drove her mad. I can't believe i still remember that lol. Anyway dont fret over it tis just a habit.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2006): My fiance calls me by his ex's name whenevr we have actually talked about her due to his son. The problem I have is that he cannot even speak to her because he says it brings up too much stress. He does not even go to see his son becauseof her. I wonder if it is because he actually still has feelings for her? He says it is because she made his life so miserable. Also, whenever we do talk about her, he cannot orgasm that evening or for a couple of days after we have talked about her. I wonder if I am doing the right thing by marrying him?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2006): I am going through the same thing. My boyfriend has called me his ex's name on a number of occasions and well it's getting OLD, now I just get REALLY mad! It's really putting a strain on our relationsip. I am trying to be patient! HELP!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2006): just wanted to let you know you are not alone!!! my boyfriend of 9 months has called me his ex-fiance's name three times as well. i feel your pain and understand your confusion. i wish i could give you some advice, but it's something that i myself am still confused about. unsure if he's not over her, and very jealous that his subconcious still spits out her name every now and then. best of luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2005): Don't read too much into this or it wil drive you crazy with insecure and jealous feelings. Some would say it's the part of his brain that's alive but he isn't aware of: his unconscious mind. Our brains absorb so much info on a daily basis and when you are the heat of mind-boggling passion, be it lovemaking, or stressed in the midst of a good argument, sometimes other names slip out. We have all done it..I'll bet you have too. You shouldn't let it get to you. The last girl he was with WAS a part of his life for some time and just because he slipped and said her name...DOES not mean he still cares for her. He loves you...keep telling yourself that. It was a slip of the tongue. He made a silly mistake caused by a brain glitch he had NO control over. I have done that with my boyfriend sometimes...called out my ex-husband's name (who I abhor) by mistake. He sometimes calls me by his ex-girlfriend's name. Let it go. When someone has been in our life from the past, we sometimes just slip up with the wrong name..similar to a mother who gets her kid's names mixed up when she's trying to get their attention (I've done that too) I call these minor blunders...brain farts. Keep happy and don't make a huge issue of it.
...............................
A
reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (23 July 2005):
 Yes you should be concerned. If he is still calling you it after they have broke it is obvious he is not over her. Tell him it is not hard getting a name right. I doubt he uses your name when they are together. Tell him if he doesnt start calling u by your name its over!!
...............................
|
