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female
,
anonymous
writes: All my boyfriend's exes were really skinny and I'm pretty much average. He says it shouldn't bother me and that he thinks I'm fine the way I am but the fact that he has dated all these super slim girls and obviously finds that look attractive has made me feel really insecure. Do you think I should worry about being the biggest girl he's ever dated? If not do you have some suggestions on how to stop myself from feeling like I'm too big for him?
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reader, becky05 +, writes (27 July 2005):
If hes going out with you, he obviously finds you attractive.
Perhaps these ex girlfriends were thinner than you but they obviously didnt have much else going for them if hes not going out with them any more.
I dont think you should worry at all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2005): I think it's wonderful you have this great guy who doesn't compare you to his ex girlfriends because so many men do this and that's very hurtful. So...why are you doing this to yourself...comparing yourself?? You need to remember that his ex-girlfriends are exes for a reason. You say that they were thinner than you, however being thin does not automatically mean that they were either good or nice people which is all that really matters. If you feel, he was happy with his thin girlfriends-ask yourself-why is he with you, a bigger girl?
Because he sees you for who you are..your inner beauty-your personality-your insightfulness-your intellect. He didn't have a good relationship with his thin exes otherwise he'd still be dating them. No matter who you have a relationship with however, they will always have a past. Whether this is a past that is good or bad, it would be unhealthy for you and the relationship, to spend it being jealous over something you are unable to change. He loves you for who you are..accept that about him and learn to accept yourself for the beauty you possess because even if you don't see that beauty..he does and that is why he's with you.
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (23 July 2005):
 Stop worrying! If he didnt want to be with you he wouldnt be!! whats size got to do with it... hes with you because he wants to be and has told you that you have nothing to worry about. IF you carry on worrying it will make the relationship hard for you... relax except that he is with you for you and enjoy it!! everyone is different and hes obvioulsy with you for a reason and because he wants to be!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2005): I know exactly how you feel. I am a big girl (dress size 20) and I was constantly obsessed that my partner would leave me for a skinnier prettier girl. I was so paranoid that I would get upset if he even mentioned the name of another girl at work. Unfortunately I suffered a family bereavement and my partner stood by my even though I was a snivelling mess for the better part of 2 months.
After this I realised that he loved me for me and not how I looked.
It is understandable to be insecure but don't let these feelings damage your romance. He is going out with you because he likes you and has maybe found something in you whih none of his exes had.
Hold your head up high and realise that you are better than all those previous girls because you have him now and don't let insecurities get the better of you.
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reader, Ruan +, writes (23 July 2005):
Don't worry about it! It's normal. If he really loves you, the way you look shouldn't bother him! My ex was on the larger side and I loved her to pieces.
You just have to learn to believe him when he says you are fine, and if he's with you, and not another super slim girl, what's there to worry about?
There isn't really a way to stop yourself feeling like you do. I felt inadiquate (spelling) compared to my ex's previous lovers, but you just have to learn that your partner is yours, and they love you.
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