A
female
age
41-50,
*sme7655
writes:Please hear me out...In February of this year, shortly (about 2 weeks) after meeting this really nice, awesome guy at work, I asked him out, he seemed taken aback, politely said he had other plans, and that was that. We continued our flirty banter, it progressed to hugs and cheek kisses, nice and naughty (not NAUGHTY naughty!)texts and chatty nonsence on the phone. He has become a good friend, an amazingly smart, witty, kind man. I found out he is single, a virgin, lives with Mom, works 2 jobs, no girlfriend. FYI---I have roomies, not a virgin, and one great ex-boyfriend, who happily lives far away. It's been fun, hanging out with him at work. I feel connected to him. BUT he won't make a move!! I am gun-shy, after asking him out and being rejected, albeit nicely...On my days off, he will call and/or text 5x day. Our co-workers, say he is quiet and serious when I'm off, but when I return to work he lights up and is such a fun, goofy, jokester guy. I don't call him at all if he is off work, unless it's a job related emergency, but that's only happened once. The sexual tension, is driving me INSANE. I was asked out by other guys, but for some reason, I can't say yes to them, because I really want to wait for this guy. He knows I've been asked and always finds something wrong with these nice guys...(too old for me, too weird, too boring, etc.,)Last week, I was making dinner plans with some friends, when he remarked how I never invite him out!!??! ARRGGHH. I didn't know what to say, and he smoothly changed the subject.Will someone please kick my ass into gear, either i put him in the friend zone, and move on to other willing guys, or patiently wait until he is ready for me?I really really really like him. I told him once, and he replied that he didn't know what to say...which prompted me to ask him if he was gay, and he was a little angry and said No, but honestly I don't care if he's gay, (even tho he adamantly said he's not) I want him in my life, as a friend and/or lover, even something more, I just can't take the not knowing what's he going to be for me.....Thanks for listening..any and all words of wisdom are greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 March 2010):
 "I told him once, and he replied that he didn't know what to say...which prompted me to ask him if he was gay, and he was a little angry and said No, .."
You should give him more time think over .It will take some time to sink in because he need to think carefully how he should reply you. he is the careful type or he was taken aback by your declarations and rendered speechless.
With guys like that, you need to be bolder and initiate or start the ball rolling and hope that he would take over.
A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (27 March 2010):
I do not want to kiick your arse cus I bet you have a very cute derrier? What a refrshing young lady you must be to meet, I find your appraoch so exciting - this guy must be a bit of a prat if he cannoy take you up on your offers?
Move on and stop your flirting he is not interested and there are so mnay other boys out there for you!
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (27 March 2010):
 Isn't retrospect a bitch, ..coz I bet you are kicking yourself that you did not jump on the dinner invite comment and either ask him along or suggest dinner another night.
Still tho, he has given you the perfect avenue in, ..so just go up to him and say something like, 'why would you think I would not invite you out to dinner? ...coz i would, ...so when are you free next?', ... if it seems he is about to hesitate quickly throw in 'you've gotta eat sometimes right, so why not catch a bite with a friend?'. (yes, use 'friend' if he seems hesitant so it seems a 'less pressure' situation) ...and if he says no, then just leave the ball in his court after that by saying something like, ... ' well I happen to eat everyday, so if you ever do have time to catch up for food and a chat, you let me know ok'.
If he does not get back to you on it in a few weeks drop him in the friend pile.
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