A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am completely obsessed about this guy who has the worst history, treats women like sh*t. i just want to forget him, but the more i try the more i fall for him.he has treated me awfully, (no physical damage) but has lead me on, completely used me for sex and (although naiieve) i bent over backwards to give him everything he wanted without pushing him away.i have totally fallen for him and i know he only wanted to take baby steps which was ok with me. i was so happy to give him time.he is an abused, ex solider addicted to drugs. he is a womaniser, has passed on all sorts of diseases and i hate him so much for what he has done to me.he just turned around one day and said that he didnt want anything to do with me and to never see me again, no explanation, no care of how i felt, all i want to know is how to handle this situation and how on earth to get over someone i am so fond of,,, i do i really love him, and the more i push it away the more i fall.please help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): Girl, I know how you feel. I have been in this exact position.
My ex boyfriend had alot of anger issues. One minute he would be so sweetand caring, the next a total dick, treat me like crap, tell me I was ugly, fat, a b*tch, that I couldn't do anything right and that I was lucky to have him coz I couldn't get anyone else. Then as soon as this had gone he would apologise over and over, buy me stuff, tell me how much he loved me till I forgave him. This went on for a year until I discovered he was cheating on me as well. Suddenly the cheating was my fault, I was the reason He went elsewhere, and he wanted nothing more to do with me. I was completly heartbroken. I found myself wishing I had never met him so I wouldn't have to feel this pain. Suddenly it changed again and he wanted me to come over and we started having sex and stuff again. I kept thinking this will bring him back but it never did.
So I moved away. I needed a clean break from him and he wouldn't give me that. Life only got better from then and now I am very happy with my new bf who treats me like an angel all of the time.
So my advice to you is get a clean break. Don't call him, don't go to see him, nothing. Move him out of your life. Get rid of his stuff if you have any of it. Surround yourself with people that love you. Keep yourself busy and don't let yourself just sit around and miss him. It'll get better, I promise. Good luck (: x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): It sound like you're obsessed with this guy because you may have seen the potential of what "could have been". Unfortunately, this has led you to ignore the reality of what really has happened. Run like the wind from this guy! Find something to take your mind off him - start that hobby you've always wanted to try, join a club or group, or get a new pet. Keep telling yourself that YOU DESERVE BETTER! If you get yourself out of the grips of this svengali, you'll have a better chance of finding someone who respects you and treats you as you deserve!
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A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (27 March 2010):
 I understand how you feel and the love you have for him but don't you think it is time for you to love yourself?
You are still young and you have a brighter future ahead of you, you will someday forget him but you need to help yourself first, you need to learn to love yourself before you can truly find someone to love you in return.
Do things that makes you happy and focus on yourself, have some goals in life and work on it. Have some strength. Walk on and don't be afraid, don't look back. GOODLUCK!
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