A
male
age
41-50,
*lectronicsguy
writes:Hello, I'm writing today becouse I really don't know what to do at this point. Iv'e been in a serious relationship for about 4 months. (She's 22 I'm 29) I really love this girl and I know she feels the same way. The problem is she'll be fine for a week or 2, then at some point will go into this mental breakdown on how she hates her life and nobody cares about her. Now things haven't always been easy for her, her mother died 5 years ago from cancer. Past Bad relationships, etc. It's just the things she hates, like her job, her degree choice in college, her car (2007 yukon daddy bought for her), her roommate, etc. At first I was like...oh, it's ok you'll get through this to her. Now I'm like, if your really not happy your the only one who can change these things, stop talking about it and do something! I'll even give her a few options and ways I could help her but she won't commit.I just dont know what to do or tell her at this point. This insecurity is sure to end our relationship and I don't even know if she see's that coming. I just can't deal with it anymore. Both sides of her family are very wealthy, I was never handed half of what she has growing up and she doesn't give a shit about it. I really do love her and if it wasn't for the "unhappy with everything once a week breakdown" we would have the perfect relationship. Any advice is appreiciated.Thanks!
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male
reader, electronicsguy +, writes (4 January 2009):
electronicsguy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. One thing she says occasonally is "growing up sucks". I never really felt that way, I was more excited to do new things with life. (after college, etc) I do think it has to do with the spoiled lifestyle and knowing after college in the spring she's gonna have to do some things on her own. I also think that some of it is that her mother, grandmother, and none of her aunts work. They all take care of the house, kids, cook, etc. Trust me, someday I hope to be able to provide the same but it's just not reality at the moment for us. I guess in the end I just need to talk to her about how it effects our relationship and ways we can fix some of the problems. I have been close to telling her before and about that time she sends me an e-mail, card, or something saying how much she loves me, is gald im there for her, etc. My heart melts at this and I no longer have the heart to start a "relationship" talk. (until the next depression episode a couple weeks later)
A
female
reader, littlemomma +, writes (4 January 2009):
 ok, there could be a lot of things going on. First off, sometimes hormones actually set a girls emotions off. There's not really anything anyone could do there aside from maybe ask a doctor about it, and get her to realize what she's doing.
Another thing, she could have had some major dramitic thing happen that you dont know about that messes with her head. Like some sort of abuse tends to cause this emotional/mental roller coaster. I know personally on that one. If it is this then you just need to keep reasuring her that your there for her and keep reminding her how great she is. Might want to try counsiling too.
Another possibility, since she comes from a rich family, she's proly not used to having to deal with "reality" I guess you could say. Having to work, live in small confinment with another person ect ect. Try taking her out for long walks or car rides if you can. Let her feel a bit free and open if possible when she gets into those moods.
Well I wish you the best of luck and hope this helps!
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