A
female
age
26-29,
*verlastinglove
writes:I've been depressed for i while i think. I don't really see anything interesting or the point of life anymore. Things i used to enjoy i don't now and my friends who used to be like family to me i now look at like their just people who i talk to. I don't know what this is caused by but i have a few guesses i'm just not sure which or if its all. This all started at about the beginning of 2010. Thats when our school schedules changed (new semester). Thats one of my theories, i used to LOVE school and now i don't find it interesting or even challenging at all. Since schedule changes i'm not in the same classes with my old friends and i guess it took me a while to get accustomed to the new people and schedule which i don't like as much. I also realized that my grades were dropping a little and i don't even seem to care which is wried for me because i'm a grade fanatic i'm a 4.0 student for crying out loud. Thats just the beginning of it. i also started reading eclipse and Breaking Dawn form the Twilight series and after i finished Eclipse i cried for like 2 day and i had no idea why. I felt so connected to the book that when it was done i felt like i was done like there was nothing left of my life. So i started Breaking Dawn and i really want to know what happens but i don't want the story to end i LOVE the Twilight series so much and i know ill miss Edward Cullen the perfect dream guy. On top of all this i'm in love with my teacher. Yea its weird and its forbidden. He's older, married, with two kids. Which i would never dare to break apart that would hurt him and i want him to be happy. But is complicated because no matter how hard i try to forget about it and move on i can't. Now knowing the the school year is already half over i only have so much time with him left and it breaks my heart but i guess its for the best. The confusing part is that i think he likes me back. which is the reason i started liking him the first place. I didn't even really notice him till i realized that he treated me differently; almost in a flirty way so i just kinda fell for him. When i look into his eyes i get lost and have to quickly look away before i go crazy. When ever i'm not staring at him he'll walk right in front of my eyes to where ever i'm looking. This may seem like paranoid love and i just think hes doing all thins because i love him, but Ive tested it like i looked all over the class room and every time he would walk in front of me. He always gives me good grades i have a 1005 in his class. I turned in a paper 2 weeks late which your not supposed to be able to turn in anything after 3 days late and i got full credit. He always looks at me to make sure i'm looking right at him and i guess this could be his way of making sure i'm paying attention but every time i'm sitting up he'll stand right in font of my desk (practically sitting on it. Hes always friendly to me even when hes mad which is another teacherly thing to do but its kinda weird. He always calls me Hun or sweetheart but i think thats just the way he is. I just wish i knew how he really felt so i would know what to do. I can't just confront him because if his feelings aren't mutual then the rest of the year will be ruined for both me and him. Now aside from all that i fell depressed kinda, most of the time. I don't know why i feel like everything there is to life I've done, that theres no more excitement. People always say you have your whole life ahead of you don't ruin it with love or a baby. I get the baby part, but whats wrong with love if your going to spend it with that person for the rest of your life anyways why not do it now. You get more time and happiness. I want to know what to do about my depression, especially my teacher. I can't stop thinking about him i just want to grab him and never let him go. I know this may seem like a crush but I've had cruses before none of them this strong. Ive shaken off crushes before but no matter how hard i try i can't get him out of my mind. My stomach hurts just thinking about him. Is there really and answer to love? Is there a true answer to anything?
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crush, depressed, flirt, move on, my teacher Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Neanthia +, writes (8 March 2010):
 Yeah, I've never really been good at talking to people either, though I've never exactly been good at keeping my mouth shut. It's just always easier for me to put things into writing, I don't why though. I'm glad things seem to be looking up for you. I'll be here if you need me.
~Neanthia
P.S. You're right love is, unfortunately, blind; but luckily friendship is clairvoyant. :-)
A
female
reader, everlastinglove +, writes (7 March 2010):
everlastinglove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhahah this weekend has been going better i found something to keep my mind off him as much as possible. though its starting to get old.. and my family has never been that close. i dont have that you can tell me anything relationship with my parents. then already shun dating so this area is definitely one thing i dont want to share with them. i do have a best friend weve been best friends since the 4th grade. i tell her everything but this is one area where i dont really share. i even had a hard time telling he who i liked when the guy was my age and single. i waited till i didnt like him anymore before i was finnaly willing to tell her. your the only one who really knows about this. p.s. ( im not psychic i wish i was, im just really good at understanding the mind. im great at helping people with their problems because im able to think things out so well. but just not this problem "love makes you blind") :))
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A
female
reader, Neanthia +, writes (6 March 2010):
Wow... Seems to me you're psychic (that's a joke, but if you really are please tell me cause I'm way, way superstitious)After reading that i was going to say try talking to a best friend who would fill those categories you're looking for. Because it does sound like what you need is a best friend, and not just in words but someone who is close like a sister/brother. I'm kind of the same way, i don't really hang out with my friends outside of school that much, because I have to take care of my Grammy and Pappy (I've always called them that so it's weird fro me to think of them as Gram or Pap because sometimes I think they're closer to me than the rest of my family is) every day, but there's another thought (don't hurt me) maybe try telling a close family member about your problems. I talk to my Grammy about everything, everything she was first to know whenever I liked someone, whenever i came home crying she'd cheer me up, we knew each other so well that whenever she had problems with her friends I could help her too. (Don't hurt me if I'm wrong) But it seems like that's what you're looking for a close friendship deeper than the surface.
~Neanthia
P.S. I failed the "Who I am" test as well, I think what my mom meant was who you are and if you have the guts and determination to become who you want to be, I'm going to try that one with her as soon as I figure it out.
P.P.S This has nothing to do with your current situation I just thought it was kind of ironic that every time I open this web page there's an add for Twilight (That was supposed to make you laugh if it didn't please virtually slap me)
P.P.P.S Good luck with whatever you do and decide I'll be rooting for you from here.
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A
female
reader, everlastinglove +, writes (6 March 2010):
everlastinglove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks thats great advise. right now its the weekend and when i should be happiest im the most sad because i dont get to see him. but about the being able to say who you are. ive thought that out and ive came to a few choices. but how do you go about and figure out who you are how can you classify yourself as something that you might not be. how can i study/take a class for something that i might not become. im just so used to being able to do almost everything that settling for one particular subject/area just doesnt sound that appealing. im thinking of more legit careers like business or medicine or law even though i would rather do something rare like a designer or a celebrity but what are the odds.i always like to think things through because with every action there is a reaction and i always think about it . i dont know what or who to be and i guess by your terms i, not ready for a relationship which isnt really what im expecting. i just need someone who i can tell all my secrets too someone who can help me with my problems and i can help him with his problems. someone who will listen and who will always be there. i know my teacher could do all of that but like i said i have thought it through. i guess right now is just a confusing part of my life. and if your oging to suggest someone else that i can share my secrets and problems there is no one ive thought of every possibility. and im not really allowed to go and hang out with friends or anything really my life is pretty much school home family thats it thats why i love school so much. i dont know what else to say my problems are to big to put into words thanks
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A
female
reader, Neanthia +, writes (5 March 2010):
Love moves in strange ways, its a mystery to everyone, it is both amazing and entirely too disappointing, you seem to have your heart caught in a tough place. I know I'm asking a lot but what I'm not asking is for you to forget about him completely or for you to date another guy. What I am asking is hard, I know but maybe its time to remove yourself from the situation you're between 13-15 you have all the time in the world to get into a relationship. What you only have a few years for is to figure out who you are and what you plan to do with your life. This may sound mean, but you'll move on to the next grade and the next and so on and graduate and then time will be up, will you know who you are when that time comes?I suppose what I'm asking is for you to be yourself or to figure out who that is. Can you look at a mirror and know who you are? Who is it that you see looking back at you? Maybe if you can you are ready for a relationship, my mom told me when I could tell her who I was I would be ready for a boyfriend, I don't just mean your name, I mean who you really are, and even if you are ready for a relationship doesn't mean you should have one right away, but love works in strange ways, you'll get your share too. Talk with your friends, hang out, have fun, your teacher may have just taken a liking to you as a student, or a friend. I have teachers who are only about 11 years older than me and whenever class ends we're on a first name basis because we are friends. I'm just trying to help you (though I guess I suck at that sorry about that but we're all in the same boat).
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A
female
reader, everlastinglove +, writes (5 March 2010):
everlastinglove is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondear neanthiathanks for the feedbackim almost done with breaking dawn and everything has been going better. about the guys my own age im aware of a few who like me and i kinda tiny bit like them too. but i know my teachers flaws and i accept them. hes definatley not perfect. hes not the cutes guy ever. i love him for his personality. and every time i try not to think about him and just forget i can and i keep comming back to him even more. and i dont know how i could be in a relationship with another guy when my hearts still with my teacher. the guy doesnt deserve that. believe me im trying to not care about my teacher so much but for some reason the feelings wont go away
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A
female
reader, Neanthia +, writes (1 March 2010):
Love is never easy and that is a HUGE understatement. I think what you need to do is SHUT THE BOOK!!! And *ding ding ding* pick up a new one! Both literally and metaphorically. Twilight is very addicting I'll admit that but if it's affecting you this strongly please read another book and give yourself a reality check the series is fantasy, because it sounds like you're losing yourself in it. I know we've all wished for some handsome prince to come and sweep us off our feet and whisk us off into the sunset. The odds of that are 1 in a million. Your prince is not Edward Cullen or your teacher. I liked your bit about how immature guys are at this age, so true! But not all of them are, who knows if you take your eyes of Edward and your teacher you might find a special someone even better than them! Sure he'll have is flaws but love is accepting those flaws and liking someone that much despite them. As for adjusting to new classes, talk to new people! It's as simple as that, if you never give them a try you might be sitting next to your best friend for two years and never know it! I know life seems boring sometimes but maybe you're just missing the fun of life because you're not looking for it, or you're expecting adventure and action like what you see in Twilight. Girl, it may not seem like it now, but the real adventure is you're life as it is. Who knows? It may seem like your teacher might care for you more than other students, sometimes teachers do have favorites, but look at it from his point of view, he's a full grown man who spent at least four years minimum getting a degree and paying heavy tuition and hard work to get the job he's got. If he even tells you he has romantic feelings for you and someone finds out he could very well lose his job, his credit, and even go to jail if it turns into something serious. I know you're probably P.O.ed right now but the way you're defending you're teacher's possible feelings for you sounds like infatuation.
It will be hard and possibly painful and boring, but I think it's best. Turn over a new leaf, live you're life every day and don't just coast through life glued to a book, look at things with hope but with reality in check.
Hope this helps, and I really hope everything works out, if it doesn't feel free to tell me off.
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A
female
reader, everlastinglove +, writes (1 March 2010):
everlastinglove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGee! thanks for the response but just for the sake of it i'm not a poser. Do i wish i had my own PERFECT Edward Cullen yes but i'm not a poser. I'm sure that its not he just wants me to pass the class i always pass, not to toot my own horn but i'm pretty dang smart. Even if he was trying to allow me to pass he didn't have to give me a 100 on EVERYTHING. How do you know so much about vampires and werewolves. are you one yourself? That would be pretty sweet. About me like older people i thought about that too and its not really that i like older men its that i like someone that knows how to treat me right and its so immature and right now the guys my age don't really have that if you know what i mean. Thanks for the response!
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A
male
reader, deathbydarkness +, writes (28 February 2010):
Now this pisses me off, all these posers come out from twlight. All of the sudden some housewife makes a inaccruate book about vampires and werewolves (no clue if there are lycans) but the part of depression is not true most likely you want to feel connect to the book so you attempt to model yourself after these posers. The man may just like you. All teacher want you to pass for example i was failing several class and my teacher let me make it. At the age you describe your hormones rage and well you start to like people, wether you like to "Rob the Grave" (you like older people) is up to you, so just play it by ear.
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